Tuesday, June 3, 2014

FOR $50,000 BROWNSVILLE WILL GET ALL-AMERICAN PLAQUE

By Juan Montoya
Between the City of Brownsville and the Brownsville Independent School District, city residents will spend upwards of $50,000 to get recognition at the 2014 National Civic League All-America City Awards conference.
And while it was Deputy City Manager Pete Gonzalez who ran interference for the city group to get $24,120 attend the confab in Denver June 13 through June 16, it was pom-pom girl and school board trustee Minerva Peña who championed the payment of another $15,000 from the BISD to join the city revelers.
And what exactly does the city get from the designation as an All-American City?
Well, there's a plaque, we're sure. And there are probably some street signs at the entrance of the city to amaze visitors and tourists who somehow find their way here.
And they probably will be a whole lot of bumper stickers that all our city fleets will sport in observance of the designation.
We can think of other benefits.
We could, for example, paint the All-American shield on the PUB water towers, the international bridges, City Hall, taxis, etc.,
If we really get patriotic, we should issue small stickers to all the car washers downtown so they can put them on their buckets and on the mud guard of their bicycles.
But this won't fool anyone, we 're sure. One look at the condition of our streets, the forest of dead trees supporting our hideous electric power lines strung across the horizon of our landscape covering up the palm trees and other vegetation, and the average visitor will begin to think he's really not in the United States, but in some backwater spot in the Third World..
And think about it. We're in competition with hard scrabble Marshall, Texas, about as beautiful a spot in East Texas as any. This was the home of the Boggie Woogie, Don Hendly of the Eagles, and Scott Joplin was born in nearby Linden. Of course, Marshall also lays dubious claims to Elvis Presely, Huddy Ledbetter "Lead Belly," Tex Ritter, and Wolfman Jack, among others.
Of course, we have Chris Christopherson and except for Joe Lopez and Mazz, that's about it.
A friend of ours who works for the county was saying that instead of the school district laying out cold, hard cash for this dubious honor and giving away money to the shadow government called United Brownsville (another $25,000), we should make sure our teachers get supplies so they won't have to supply them out of their own pockets and the city spend its money to fix our streets.
OK. So we're a lock for the Second-Hand Capital of the United States, home to the gutted hulls of U.S. battleships at the shipbreakers at the Port of Brownsville, the Pothole Capital of the country, and the leading per capita city in used tire shops.
But we still hold the Guinness World of Records recognition for for the largest group that danced the zumba, the largest group to wet their lines on Hooked For Life and other uplifting endeavors. And of course, we are second to none in the nationwide  recognition as the poorest community in the United States.
Take that, Marshall!

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't the officials of this city understand that All American City status is nothing more than a Who's Who of College graduates...its a list you (or we) pay to get on....it has nothing to do with status or special characteristics. We pay...we get on the list. Apparently local leaders are sucked into this "list" mania and are stupid enough to believe it is meaningful.

Anonymous said...

Instead of taking action to be an All American City, our officials are willing to "buy" the status. Knowing that buying the status is easier than earning it, we fall into a local corruption trap, if you can't be one, then cheat or beg.

Anonymous said...

Interesting that as it is announced that recycle bins are being stolen....we also hear that we seek to buy All American City status.......Do the people who issue the All American City status actually research the cities who "apply".

Anonymous said...

Seems we practice the Julieta Garcia system of honoraria....if you don't deserve it, cheat and have the Kardenas Klan lie for you. All American!!!!

Anonymous said...

this sounds like a way for a bunch of freeloaders to get a city funded vacation to Denver. lame.

Anonymous said...

It's Kris Kristofferson, pendejo.

Anonymous said...

Minerva Pena spent money on that but opposes employee raises.

Anonymous said...

Sheeit!!! All American city, you got to be kidding me! All Mexican city maybe, but American? No way on earth is Browntown an American city other that by virtue of being north of the Rio Bravo on the map. This is Greaserville vatos!

Anonymous said...

The plaque costs $50,000 and it takes $20,000 to send out delegation and then how many more thousands in promoting Brownsville. And yet, we seem to give more consideration to being a Mexican hovel than to being an All American City. This is a joke and the joke is on the tax payers.

Anonymous said...

The city is getting a $50,000 blow job thanks to Tony Martinez. This is incredible to think that we have to lobby for and pay for a plaque that is meaningless. Tony Martinez has let us all down.

Anonymous said...

I wish they would put that $50,000 into building a sidewalk on Coffeport Rd instead.
For an allegedly bike friendly town they are putting peoples lives in danger when there isnt even a shoulder for bicyclists or walkers to use, they are directly in traffic. it is so sad to see these older ladies walking in the dirt from HEB with groceries because there is no sidewalk to their apartment.

Anonymous said...

The only thing more ludicrous than this "award" is the new UT "Institute of the Americas".

Anonymous said...

Yes, it was Da Mayor disguised as a Nun collecting funds at the corner of Price Rd. And X-Pressway . His goal is to collect 50K to represent Nacoville in Denver. Nacoville, all American City.

Anonymous said...

Just another artificial status symbol and like this city, we seek artificial status over all others. This city has nothing to claim, so they claim to be something that we aren't ....an "All American anything".... We are what we are, the poorest city in Texas and more Mexican than American. We don't know who we are and can't seem to get a grip on anything real.

Anonymous said...

Good luck delagates. I hope you represent us well.

Anonymous said...

Ask Minerva Peña under whos orders did she gave 15,000.00 taxpayers monies so the City could go out of town and waste voters hard earned monies?

Anonymous said...

$50000 for a $50 plaque. Brilliant

Anonymous said...

La Minerva Peña va pa Denver con el dedo Gordo metido en el fundio. El Toni no se queda muy atrás. Y la Adela a ver que saca.

Anonymous said...

LOL All AMERICAN city?? HAHAHAHA Yeah right. All Turd city is about right. Chongos swinging around on trees from one side of the city to the other and Americans north smell their stench all the way up to Canada.

Anonymous said...

Effing amazing! What a bunch of total idiots. This retards are trying to further embarrass Brownsville and CC by calling us out once again in front of the entire nation. What would happen if we actually won? Brownsville and CC the freaking poorest in the U.S. being ridiculed on CNN and Forbes....IDIOTAS

Anonymous said...

From the bottom of my tender Naco heart I presented Da Mayor a five dollar plaque recognizing this poblado as an outstanding Naco municipality that provides potable water. Da Mayor expressed deep emotion with tears in his eyes. As a token of gratitude he shook his G-string 3 times. With my sincere plaque I saved the city thousands of dollars. The plaque was punched at La Pulga, Inc.

Anonymous said...

Where is the Placa displayed?

Anonymous said...

La Placa is displayed at the historic Stillman Shack.

rita