Thursday, July 30, 2015

EXTRA! SAENZ ADDRESSES US-IRAN NUCLEAR DEAL!

By Juan Montoya
The public relations blitz that has characterized the administration of Cameron County District Attorney continues unabated.
While other county prosecutors slog on fighting crime, this county DA seems to be on the airwaves week after week with some new PR wrinkle.
Whether he's negotiating with the U.S. State Dept. and the Indian government to bring back fugitive murderer Amit Livingston or combating domestic violence, it's been characterized by a media splash.
Livingston, fortunately, has become yesterday's news. Yawn. Move on.
Unfortunately for the DA spin machine, the U.S. Mashal's Office did not bring Amit in through the main terminal where the press conference was held to announce Saenz's capture of the fugitive. They merely did their job and turned over custody to the Cameron County Sheriff's Dept., as things should be done.
By now the maquinita crusade has become stale. How many photo ops can you get standing before a eight-liner machine anyway? In this case, questions arise on whether the maquinitas Luis is seizing are some of the same ones he sold to gaming interests that are coming back to be used once again, this time to benefit his reelection.
Just recently, it was getting court orders to force intoxicated drivers to have blood withdrawn when they refused to breathe into the Intoxilizer machines.
And in yesterdays newscasts, a certain local television station was persuaded to feature Saenz on a cutting-edge technology story on drones along the border and their intrusion into privacy of Cameron County residents.
Border missions fly out of Sierra Vista, home of the U.S. Army Intelligence Center at Fort Huachuca, or Corpus Christi, Texas. They are authorized to patrol at altitudes between 19,000 at 28,000 feet and between 25 and 60 miles of the border. The program is expected to expand the the Canadian border by the end of 2015.
Saenz warned would-be drone Peeping Toms that he would "prosecute to the full extent of the law" those who violate other people's privacy and rights.
We can hardly wait to see the lawsuit by Cameron County against the Department of Homeland Security and the U.S. Army.
(As ususal, substance often trumps style because some would ask why he didn't prosecutre former county commissioner Ernie Hernandez on seven counts of official misconduct or his daughter (Justice of the Peace) Erin Garcia when she sold waivers to the 72-hour waiting period between the issuance of the marriage license and the performance of the wedding ceremony where she stood to pocket between $150 and $250 per wedding. As his former friend and former county commissioner from Southmost would say, no mames, guey! )
What Saenz opines of the drone national policy apparently was newsworthy to local television viewers and makes the DA relevant, a prime example of keeping his name associated with new stuff.
Some of us were sitting around a coffee table the other day and suggested other topics that Saenz's Spin Machine might try to use to keep their candidate on the minds of county voters. Below are some ideas.

* SAENZ WEIGHS IN ON IMPACT OF US-IRAN NUKE ARMS DEAL ON CAMERON COUNTY! WAS OBAMA PERIQUIADO BY AYATOLLAHS?

* DA COMMENTS ON NEW HORIZON'S FLY-BY OF PLUTO: 3 BILLION MILES IS CLOSER TO SOUTH TEXAS THAN YOU THINK!

* SAENZ CALLS FOR VIGILANCE ALONG BORDER TUNNELS. EL CHAPO MAY EMERGE!

* SAENZ: NO TOLERANCE OF RACIST COPS KILLINGS OF BLACKS IN CAMERON COUNTY!

* BEWARE OF GREEKS BEARING DEBT! GREEK COLLAPSE MAY RESULT IN INCREASED MONEY LAUNDERING IN MAQUINITAS SALONS IN SOUTH TEXAS, SAENZ WARNS!

* DA ALERT: WITH BEGINNING OF SCHOOL YEAR, WE WILL NOT TOLERATE SCHOOL-SUPPLIES PRICE GOUGING OF CONSUMERS!

* DA: I WILL TAKE IDENTITY THEFT OF BICYCLE-MOUSTACHE WEARERS PERSONALLY!

* DOG-DAYS HEAT MAY TRIGGER VIOLENT CRIME, DA WARNS! I WILL NOT LET CANICULA CRIME DOG CAMERON COUNTY!

* SAENZ ASKS: WILL SAME-SEX MARRIAGE AFFECT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RATES?

*SAENZ GOES BEYOND THE GRAVE: INDICTS GERALD FORD FOR NIXON PARDON! VICTOR CORTEZ MOLE IN INVESTIGATION! NO ONE ABOVE (OR BELOW) THE LAW!

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

DA Goes After Shitty Bloggers

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

First, it's interesting how much the character on the Monopoly game "Get Out of Jail Free" card resembles DA Luis Saenz....the unkempt mustache. To us, the more we see Saenz in the media, the more incompetent he appears. On TV last night he was over his head about drones.....out of touch and full of bullshit. Masso is gaining!

Anonymous said...

The D.A. With his silly-ass cockroach mustache could be mistaken or pass as an Ayatollah in Iran. In Naco Town he needs to put on a white sheet and wear camel sandels , a white hairdo towel and he is in the chips as a camel jockey.

Anonymous said...

D. A. Defends Tom Brady decision to Destroy Texts as evidence: The Cameron County DA agrees that when you lose something it is Lost. As a the Cameron County DA I strongly advise my PIO Melissa Zamora and all my staff to purposely lose texts, emails and pictures when asked to produce them. The DA agrees that Tom Brady should have not only destroyed his texts he should have destroyed his phone in the process. As a prosecutor you can't win without the smoking gun. In this case it is not a gun but his texts would have killed his career. This is why I am glad Tom Brady destroyed his text setting precedence on how to cover up the truth that may hurt your career. I stand firmly on his decision to hide the truth.

Anonymous said...

The D.A. Has invited atomic scientist Muniz of the Irann talks to search for boxes of mass destruction of Bud cases in the Court House. Da Mayor will accompany Dr. Muniz . They both share the same stylish coiffure . It was done at the mall by a local Naquette.

Anonymous said...

The DA will soon announce whee Jimmy Hoffa is buried. His all Starr team of ex FBI HACKS found the body of the ex union leader stuffed away in the Blimp's FUNDIO.....I am voting for Saenz!

Anonymous said...

Maybe Luis will extradite the killer of Cecil. Sure he'll take credit for bringing that murderer to justice.

Anonymous said...

Saw a fatboy looking like The Blimp playing with the Ballpark Franks at HEB. Vato feo y estupido!

Anonymous said...

Luis Saenz is the baddest Mexican in the county, Juan. watch your ass, dude

KBRO said...

Culos, all culos!

KBRO

Anonymous said...

Nothing new about pinche Browntown politicos waxing eloquent about shit that is no business of theirs.

Back in the early 60's Constable Mike Gomez passed out cards saying "He is against higher taxes". Like the Constable has anything to do with tax rates.

But it would appear the Mexican voters want their elected officials to be in charge of the entire world.

Anonymous said...

The AFL-CIO Local 001 Cockroaches of the Court House have filed a complaint blaming the D.A. Poking harassing insults to Cockroach mustaches bringing a bad rap to Roaches . The complaint also states prohibiting him from wearing Stacy-Adams pointed shoes. These are known as Roaches assassins. They are used especially in office corners.

The Pissed Off Conservative said...

I laughed my ass off when he said that he would prosecute anybody flying a drone when the law clearly states that our area is exempt from that law.

The title of thoz article should of been "Saenz is whoring himself out in hopes of keeping his job". That is the title that you should of put on your blog Juan

Anonymous said...

DA Saenz opinion on Tom Brady erased texts: Since Mr. Brady deleted over 10,000 texts there is no evidence. I train my ADA only prosecute cases with a smoking gun. No gun no case. In Mr. Brady case no text no case. Can you imagine if I had to actually get an investigator to prove a case... I will never have headlines to have my PIO do a press release. In the real world you only win cases. Justice is for punks.

Anonymous said...

HOT TIP. The Casa de Nylon, bought for how many millions, was just found to be so asbestos filled, that it must be demolished.

Is that true? Sick the Baker Boys on this one.

Anonymous said...

Masso is way ahead dude,most likely your next district attorney.

Anonymous said...

Will same sex cockroaches be allowed at the Courthouse. The D.A. Ponders on this profound dilemma .

Anonymous said...

Masso = Hernandez shit

Anonymous said...

The NSA ( Naco Security Agency) has found Hoffa's remains. All this time they were in an Urn in the DA,s private Poddy.

Anonymous said...

Reading all these comments must make Masso smile.

Anonymous said...

But wait ! Masso is a camel jockey. He hails from the tribe of El Kobar.

Anonymous said...

As Ann Richards would have said, "you can stick a fork in Saenz, he's done".

rita