Thursday, March 15, 2018

RENE TRIES TO WALK; WITH SPIRITS, SEES GHOSTS IN CORNERS

Special to El Rrun-Rrun

District 37 State Representative Rene Oliveira tried to take a stroll downtown.
Through the haze of the shots he had throughout the day sweating the runoff with Cameron County Pct. 2 Commissioner Alex Dominguez, his memories regarding Brownsville's historic heart and soul faltered and he grabbed at the corner of the San Fernando Building going back several generations to steady himself.

The many spirits he had consumed made him imagine he saw a ghost  at every corner.

"My grandfather was a longtime city cop and walking downtown was a part of his beat," said Oliveira as he passed in front of the bus terminal and admired the building's architecture as he observed the empty high-rise parking lot across the street. "Damn, for a moment I thought the guy in the security outfit from the segunda sleeping on the bench was him.

"He used to run out the local Mexican shoe shine boys from the watering holes like the pilot Bar and the Sportsman Lounge so the gringos could drink in peace. In those days, the Snowbirds used to make Brownsville los mecos for the entire Rio Grande Valley and Northern Mexico.

"My grandfather spoke fondly about the trust that existed among the citizenry in those days. You hear about residents who didn't lock their homes, but merchants were so confident about the safety of their establishments that they oftentimes forgot to lock the doors to their entrances. Nowadays you can't even invite your neighbor to visit you from next door because he might steal your wife."

Hardly understandable through his slurred speech, Oliveira insisted that downtown's time is now. After 34 years of jaunting between Austin's Sixth Street and the French Quarter in New Orleans, he fancies that they have nothing over Brownsville.


"We don't have the same traffic problems in Brownsville," he says. "In fact, there is almost no traffic in downtown Brownsville at all. But living in a thriving downtown would certainly be an attraction to both young professionals and retirees. I would love to see the El Jardin refurbished into a condo with a restaurant and businesses on the first floor."

His drinking buddy didn't have the heart to tell him that the city commission had already approved plans for a developer to refurbish El Jardin exactly along the lines of his inebriated imagination.

As a hometown product, Oliveira doesn't profess to have the knowledge of the experts at the Brownsville Historical Association, but he recited the contents of Bean Ayala's Visitors and Convention Bureau brochure he had seen somewhere. In fact, Bean might have paid his cousin Ronnie $140,000 to put it together to "ignite" tourism.

Regardless, Rene was already lit.

"The first two battles of the Mexican-American War and the last battle of the Civil War were fought in the Brownsville area," said Oliveira. "Before Pancho Villa attacked Columbus, New Mexico, Juan Cortina and his followers took over Brownsville. With our wonderful weather and picturesque scenery, visitors would come in droves to experience Brownsville historically firsthand through our restored buildings. The birders are always amazed when they observe parrots living in palm trees on Washington Street. If they had the hangovers I have, they'd agree with Othal Brand and allow kids with 22s to shut them up. Gad, what a racket!"

"The momentum is here. I stopped for an early one at El Hueso de Fraile on the recommendation of my good friend State Senator Eddie Lucio. Now that guy can sell an Eskimo a fridge, bro!, for  a slight commission, of course.

"Brownsville is moving forward, not tottering, like I am. The movement downtown captures that spirit. And speaking of spirits, Jerry, let me buy you a couple of rounds over at Rioja's to keep you happy and keep writing good stuff about me."

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

no credit to McHale? Jealous bastard!

brownsville literary review said...

Inspiring stuff. I don't think I could have written it better.

Anonymous said...

Popeye the sailor man....

Anonymous said...

Why I am sweating is because e every where I turm there is a mongoose following me, it is in the shape of the Blonde I had to turn tricks for me with a client. Then the next mongoose us a cliens girlfriend I screwed, then I see a mongoose following me everywhere even in bed. How much more can a Black Mamba take. This is the recurring nightmare of Ren'e The black Mamba Oliviera as he says to himelf "when will it end".

Anonymous said...

Ren'e The black Mamba Oliviera screaming as he kicked his current girlfriends cat off the bed and asked, can a cat kill a mongoose?. His girlfriend said that he was screaming out "don't eat me, don't eat me", the Mamba replied, I was having a nightmare. All my memory of my family history were gone, and there were mongoose following me everywhere even in bed. When will it end as I shall never change even for my repetition I am always will be a cheating Scumbag.

Anonymous said...

He should take his. Memory to his home and sit by his pool and snort in the tranquility of his garden, along with his grand children. He can hold them, and tell his stories of how he would lie and cheat, sleep with his client's wives and girlfriends, cheat the taxman, con his client out of thousands of dollars, as he would feed him Bullshit. Then hold his grand children tightly while he was sweating like mad saying, how long was this going to last, before he would have to join Armando Villalobos Marchan and Animo. The the Scumbag woke up and could see he has a decision to make, do he retire and have his family's memories intact, to walk down town, Or does he roll the dice and risk joining Armando Villalobos?, then he thought of spacex, and remembered Titan. He is now left with a big decision to make, his dream, or the unknown.

Anonymous said...

My son's teacher at the B.I.S.D made all the students type out a research paper,essay, on all the acomplishment's that Rene Oliveira has earned. I'm pissed off , where or how do i report this?

Anonymous said...

Rene Oliviera is a DICK! He looks back because he has done nothing for this city, but take our money. Rene sold his soul to special interests and is more interested in babes and booze than in what is needed in this area. We need new blood....Alex Dominguez is the man. He has given more to this community during his tenure on the County Commissioner's Court, than Rene has in his 34 years in Austin. VOTE ALEX DOMINGUEZ FOR STATE REPRESENTATIVE.

chuy said...

alex plan your work and work you plan and you can once and for all you can help the folks of Cameron county get rid of this slimey dog aka la basura out of Austin texas, , Go alex go. my family and I are voting for Alex no matter what 34 years of anda equals nada, got to take a chance and roll the dice.

Anonymous said...

Rene has no real accomplishments in his 34 years as State Rep. So, the children in that teachers class had short essays that required no research. The teacher should be disciplined....state employees should not use their positions to support a candidate. Rene Oliviera is and always has been a SLUG. Everywhere he goes he leaves slime. VOTE FOR ALEX DOMINGUEZ FOR STATE REPRESENTATIVE. TIME FOR CHANGE. ALEX WILL WORK FOR THIS COMMUNITY, NOT FOR SPECIAL INTERESTS.

Anonymous said...

Why am I sweating so much, said Ren'e The black Mamba Oliviera while looking in the mirror, everyone knows that I am a lieing cheating Scumbag, and I got a client who I was defending and paying me with sex, to screw a client for me. I took thousands of dollars under false pretenses and didn't declare it to my partners or the taxman, so why am I sweating so much.I shall not join Armando Villalobos and Ray Marchan as I am UNTOUCHABLE. Just keep the mongoose from me. Yes my sweetheart he answers to his girlfriend, of course I am not screwing any other woman in Brownsville, then under his breath he said "I shall wait until I get to Austin.

Chuy said...

Juan I read the editorial in The Monitor 3-21-2018 which Rene Ojete wrote regarding some state committee he is on and says we need to focus on more education for jobs plus job training for our youth and folks here in the valley, mmm hey I thought why all of the sudden Rene ojete came out in the newspaper with this stuff, oh I remembered he is in a run off and so whatever he can get for free I guess, wanted some free publicity, no fee no charges etc. Any way reminded me of that General in WWII that was asked to surrender by the Germans in Bastogne and he replied "Nuts" 34 years of NADA still equals NADA. Vote for Alex, because we need a change no matter what, roll the dice, take a chance, Rene is still a Cool Arrow and the same as 34 years ago, its all about ME ME ME.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes an arrow is bent, and missed the target, this is the same as Ren'e The black Mamba Oliviera. He has used bent arrows for to long, now they're like boomerangs, and will hit him in the butt.

Anonymous said...

When will Ren'e The black Mamba Oliviera see the writing on the wall, and throw in the towel. He must know by now that the mongoose has started to bite where it hurts and expose him for being a lieing, cheating Scumbag, who will soon get cornerd by the mongoose, and expose him to the world, as a lieing cheating Scumbag.

Anonymous said...

I have just got the answer to the Mongoose problem, "cocaine' I just was told that the mongoose hate Cocaine?, all I must do is use twice as much Cocaine and that will keep the mongoose from me. I don't worry about the cop's as I am UNTOUCHABLE.

rita