Wednesday, March 4, 2015

CAPTAIN BOB MAKES THE MAYORAL BALLOT BY A HAIR

By Juan Montoya
Hear about the close call that Robert "Capt. Bob" Sanchez had with the office of the City of Brownsville secretary?
Apparently, el Capitan Roberto was one valid signature short of the 100 necessary to get on the ballot and had to hurry down to the city and straighten it out with city manager Charlie Cabler and a battery of lawyers.
Well, eventually Bob was allowed to add another valid signature to his list and will be listed with the other five candidates this May and he pulled it off by a hair of his thinning pate.
But the close call came after Sanchez had invited some county dignitaries to his seafood restaurant on Price Road and treated them to a delicious marisco repast compliments of the house.
Well, that was when he was gathering signatures and they all gave him theirs and one of his pals – Cris Valadez AKA "Maclovio O'Malley" – even took a sheet home and got some of his kin to put their John Hancock.
The one diner who ate on the Capt.'s nickel and didn't dare ink his name on the Capt. Bob for mayor form was none other than Cameron County Treasurer David Betancourt. Twice he was asked by the captain on different occasions and twice, through the shell of his shrimp plate he declined.
Apparently, Betancourt was afraid that Da Mayor Tony Martinez would spot his signature on Bob's form and could perhaps remove him from the Greater Brownsville Incentives Corporation where he is the chairman. Betancourt has a habit of saying he supports you in private but stops short of making any type of endorsement in public.
David should remember that his term will be up a couple of years from now and he might be needing a vote or two from the captain's extended family. Or he might have a yen for some of the shrimp and filet dishes (or catan chicharrones)  and will have to dish out some of his hard-earned cash instead of getting it gratis from the captain's table.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just call me Curly Shrimp.

Anonymous said...

You mean to say, "Curly Gar" .

Anonymous said...

aaahhhh David
what goes around comes around

Anonymous said...

QUIEN ES EL QUARTERBACK? TIRENME UN PASE!

Anonymous said...

Are you saying that he only had 99 valid signatures at the filing deadline. If that is true, 99 is not a hundred and he has no legal right to be on the ballot.

Anonymous said...

(CAPTAIN BOB MAKES THE MAYORAL BALLOT)

Well,then you know who our next Mayor will be, Juan.
Jake.

Anonymous said...

Fuck Betancourt.

Anonymous said...

How can that bald old fart have such a hot wife??

Anonymous said...

The food there sucks, especially the shrimp!!! Ever since hos family shut down texmex the quality of shrimp has gone to crap!!!!

Anonymous said...

Shut the fuck up Cris with your "pase" ...they should give you a drug test you conniving bastard!

Shity Wok said...

Hey, over here, I'm open.

Anonymous said...

its da money that gets the honey

Anonymous said...

Shity Wok.....aka Valadez......yes, the feds are aware of that pendejo !

rita