A newly-created government watchdog group - the Government Instant Improvement League - says it will make available one-way tour tickets to local state reps, state senators and congressional reps to Valle Hermoso, Tamaulipas, turf of the feared Zetas.
GILL spokesperson W.E. Hadinuf said the solons can pick up their tour tickets by merely walking across the Gateway Bridge in Brownsville and a messenger will hand-deliver them in person.
"The tour promoter, Mr. Yosoy Zeta, will make all the necessary arrangements for the reps to tour the northern part of Tamaulipas and observe first-hand the situation in those communities," said Hadinuf. "They will be in good hands."
This latest move by GILL comes after state lawmakers were warned to take extra precautions and avoid travel south of the border in light of the threat reported by an informant that was then passed on to U.S. agents that an alleged Mexican drug trafficking organization wanted to kidnap a U.S. elected official.
Several members of the Rio Grande Valley's state legislative delegation were briefed by the Texas Department of Public Safety about two weeks ago, reportedly offering extra security and advising them to change their routines.
But Zeta disputed the DPS warnings, saying that the armed groups roaming northern Mexican communities were merely the equivalent of local community watch groups.
"Not long ago we even had a Community Night Out," said Zeta. "It was very effective, There wasn't anyone out in the streets at all. As for kidnapping them, what we we want them for? Judging by their performance in their respective legislative bodies, they'd just be in the way. And then, used as they are to luxury at the public's expense, it would cost a fortune to keep them fed. They're not a beans-and-tortillas bunch."
But before critics of the giveaway tours can charge that GILL or the Zetas are participating in the time-honored traditions of political junkets, Hadinuf said the trips are merely a way for local sate and federal representatives to gather information first-hand.
"It's more like a fact-finding tour," he said. "With any luck, these guys will be able to meet with the players face to face."
Hadinuf said that with any luck, the solons will fall in love with the desolate beauty of northern Tamaulipas and choose to remain there.
"Think about it," he said. "It could be a fresh start for them there and for us here. One can only hope."
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