SUGGESTION FOR NAME FOR UTB MASCOT: THE TICKS, GARRAPATAS, LEECHES OR BLOODSUCKERS?

By Juan Montoya
We understand that the now autonomous free-standing, four-year college named the University of Texas at Brownsville (UTB, for short) is actively seeking a new mascot now that the Mighty Scorpion moniker has returned to Texas Southmost College.
May we be as bold as to suggest a name?

We suggest an animal that is persistent, omnipresent, and after all is said and done, never conquered. It alights on its host (often helpless mammals and humans) and does not alight until it is gored with its blood. Only fire, pliers or perhaps the death of its host will dislodge it from the victim.

We speak of the lowly tick. 

 The tick sits on tall grass and trees, waiting for a possible "host" to walk by or a docile board to vote it in. If a tick attaches itself to someone, it will typically find its way to a warm, moist and dark place on the body and gorge itself on its blood. Often, it will not leave unles it is dislodged by the host one way or another.

That aptly describes what the parasitic relationship that the University of Texas System has had with residents of the TSC college district. For the last 20 years – after it was allowed to attach itself to the taxing district – it has gorged itself on local assets to the tune of $1 billion in "transfers" to the UT System. All the while, it has refused to share any of the millions in lifeblood it has sucked from the oil-and-gas royalties of the Permanent University Fund it shares with the other 13 UT and A & M System universities.

Ticks are not dangerous in themselves unless they infect their host with a small bacterium called Borrelia burghdor feri it carries in its stomach. This is what causes Lyme disease. The further under the skin it gets, the greater the risk of catching the disease.

After 20 years of furrowing under our skin, the taxpayers of the TSC district have had an injection of $120 million in debt inserted into their backs that will take another 20 years to pay.

We thought of other names like vampires, bedbugs and zancudos, but our sympathies for these critters prevents us from libeling their reputations.

With all the attributes listed above, the name UTB Ticks does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it? In fact, most folks in this necks of the woods would say the name would be very apropo for the new UTB mascot. Where do we vote?