MAYOR ASLEEP, LULLED BY BROWNSVILLE UNITED SIREN SONG

By Juan Montoya

Yawn, well, we knew it all along.

Our Stealth Mayor Tony Martinez (remember Believe in Brownsville?) is now a bedfellow of United Brownsville, the shadow government that now rules the destiny of Brownsville without having to answer to anyone but IBC president Fred Rusteberg.

Rusteberg's United Brownsville, its tendrils stretching over every entity that matters in the Brownsville area, will now share the $500,000 Cueto Building with the mayor and the few bootlick commissioners who might wrangle their way to make do with an office there. At $1,000 a month for rental space to the phantom government, it's a deal that most businesses in downtown Brownsville would kill for. But what's a measly $1,000 to an organization that collects $25,000 in "donations" from at least seven area entities including PUB, the city, the port, UTB-TSC, BEDC, etc.?

Now that Rusteberg's United Brownsville is firmly entrenched and has the mayor sharing the tenement down the hall, it'll be easy to whisper sweet nothings to our sleeping mayor and keep him toeing the United Brownsville line.

It's interesting to note that when Hizzoner went to Putegant Elementary recently, he read Dr. Suess's "I Am Not Going to Get up Today." The sublime message sent to the students was that just as he, The Mayor, didn't have to wake up to deal with the world, they, too, didn't need fret about stuff.

We weren't there to hear Tony read to the kids, but we imagine (that's that word again) that he told them he wasn't awake when:

1. He decided to gag the voice of the people by casting the deciding vote not to broadcast the public comment section of the commission's meetings.

2. He decided to pay off a dentist from Matamoros more than $100,000 for dental service to the city employees when he knew that the only presence the "doctor" had in Brownsville was a fake storefront in a nondescript office next to a pan dulce bakery.

3. He disappeared – only to belatedly appear again after the smoke cleared – to make a conciliatory statement after city police gunned down a 15-year-old at Cummings High School.

Then again, given the caliber of his representation of our community, it might be better if he remains in his deep slumber lest he wakes up and makes things worse.