ARCHEOLOGISTS FIND 10,000-YR.-OLD MAIL-IN BALLOT

By Juan Montoya

Political scientists from Dr. Tony Zavaleta at UT-Brownsville and in other centers of political science academia have often pondered the question of the origins of political corruption in South Texas. 

The causes have been well known and established, but the question of just when it started has puzzled and perplexed observers, both professional and casual for many years. 

Some propound that it is a recent development done by miracle and sprung up all at once – a kind of spontaneous generation – having been thought up at a local nightclub, a 14th Street congal, or even among an immmemorial circle of tamaleras or washerwomen in the mists of antiquity with nothing but time on their hands. That locale has since disappeared, we're sure, with not an adobe left to carbon date.

Under the “Genesis “ theory, a group of shady characters got together and on a whim, decided to see how much they could steal and get away with. To justify and promote this point of view, familial patterns and trends are brought forth as a matter of proof that these are indeed God’s Chosen and by this right, they steal.

From there on, it's blood of blood, compadre of compadre, a kind of thieves cabal without the honor usually associated with partners in crime. Interesting intra-cultural research has been done in certain parts of the Roman empire when it was emerging into a republic, and studies into nascent Greek demos – with their peculiar carnal predilection of intimacy – are among some of the seminal probes into the subject matter.

In many cases, the more modern scholars maintain that corruption is a recent event, caused by the election of the people that were not in their circle just one election cycle ago.

The more scientific approach assumes that the modern system evolved from a more primitive system where advantages and strategies that proved effective in stealing from others were passed down through the generations, resulting in our modern and refined system of graft and corruption. 

The Evolutionists have always maintained that one must look at the evidence without preconceived family bias in order to properly understand and explain the system as it now exists. They point out the parallels seen in biology where chimps pass on the skill of using twigs to feast on termites on to other chimps. Monkeying around with election results may have come out of Mother Africa, so that credence is given to Pliny the Elder – Natural History Roman scholar & scientist (23 AD - 79 AD) that –  "There is always something new out of Africa."

Many of the proponents of the Genesis theory try to lend scientific credence to their belief system by claiming that the Hand of God is evident in the current system (see figure on the top left of cuneiform tablet) . They maintain that no system that is so professional and pervasive could have arisen by accident, as the Evolutionists claim. 

The proponents of the theory called “Intelligent Design” offer what are called by the Evolutionists nothing more that pseudo-scientific jargon in support of their own position that it is their birthright to steal. 

Intelligent Design proponents pack school boards and commissions in efforts to promote their viewpoint, while the Evolutionists continue to maintain that anyone can learn to steal and that it is not some magical talent bestowed on a chosen few.

 Depending on the party in control at any given time, these divergent views are foisted upon the impressionable minds of their progeny, who in turn adopt the parental world view and pass it on to their seed.
The latest archaeological discovery pushes back the beginning dates for local corruption and gives the Evolutionists more evidence. They don’t really expect this to have much effect on the Creationists, but remain undaunted in their search for our roots.

A local anthropologist says the insatiable theme thrughout the genus of study seems to be: "We don't eschew corruption, we demand it."