AGUAS CON EL CHUBASCO, HOMEY; APAÑA DESCUENTO ESE

By Juan Montoya

Are barrio-friendly hurricane warnings needed?

Back in 2008, a friend sent me a Email from Houston that made fun of U.S. Rep. Shirley Jackson Lee’s complaint of the National Hurricane Center’s traditional practice of naming tropical storms and hurricanes with Anglo Saxon names and ignoring names from other ethnic backgrounds.

Now, I don’t know whether her criticism will be taken to heart by the folks at the storm center, but it would be an interesting change of pace to hear the weather forecasters talk about Hurricane Shaquille, DeJuan, or Takeisha.

It would be just as refreshing to hear them warn us of the projected path of Hurricane Panfilo, Lupita, or Juanito.

The missive my friend sent me went on to list other criticisms that Rep. Jackson made concerning the wording of the hurricane warnings. She stated that perhaps the conservative (and bland) language that was used in the broadcasts did not convey the seriousness of the situation surrounding these massive storms.
(Now we understand that there are Spanish-language warnings to be broadcast by the National Weather Service locally.)

Apparently, the black representative was of the opinion that the current warnings do not convey the sense of urgency, or perhaps, passion, that would make the average black listener or viewer take the precautions they need to keep themselves and their families safe.

Mulling over this, I applied the same logic to Hispanic listeners and wondered how we might be able to make the hurricane warnings more, how shall I say, barrio friendly.

For starters, we would have to use some Spanish, Tex-Mex, or even some slang in the messages to get the message to reach a majority of the people. There are already plenty of sayings (dichos) associated with the weather in South Texas.

These “dichos” are a rich source of folk wisdom that convey a serious message to the listener. For example, “Cuando viene tempestad del sureste, suelta las bestias y vete,” means that when a storm approaches from the southeast, let the livestock loose, and flee.

And many rural South Texans are acquainted with sudden swarms of ants that come out just before a bad storm. Likewise, when one saw spiders or other insects climbing the trees, it was a sign that a storm was brewing. Realizing that we have rich and creative diversity of expression in South Texas, we might have to warn our listeners that bad storms are on the way in a way that they would understand.

The average Southmost adult could understand something like, “Hay viene la agua. Recoje a la abuela y los guercos, agarra tus tiliches y patitas pa que son.” A rough translation of this would be something like “A bad storm’s coming. Gather up granny and the kids, a few things, and feets don’t fail me now.”

Or, if you happen to be addressing the younger, hipper, crowd, one could go with, “Hey, homey, hay viene un storm bien bule. Apaña un ropin y la Baby Doll, y ponle en la carcacha, Bro.”

Since recent federal policies by the Department of Homeland Security have singled out the border area for a crackdown on illegal immigration, that adds an extra wrinkle to the mix here. A recent story on the local daily indicates that some community activist groups have sued to have the Border Patrol disclose the extent of their immigration checks if an evacuation would be ordered.

We all know that South Texas is a corridor through which illegal migration occurs. And most of us know someone who has relatives here without proper documentations. Since these people would also be included in the evacuations, perhaps our warning should also be aimed at informing them of the potential for arrest and deportation if they get stopped by the Border Patrol.

Perhaps a message such as this may be broadcast to warn this segment of the population: “Gov. Perry has ordered the evacuation of Brownsville and urges all residents to use the evacuation routes leading north and west of the Rio Grande Valley. People unable to produce at least two forms of acceptable identification should be aware that they face possible arrest, deportation, and separation from their children if they are U.S. citizens. If this is the case, please make arrangements for the care of your children should you be arrested as you try to evacuate the area.”

You can see how providing this information to potential evacuees is of critical importance. For example, if you are transporting someone who cannot prove he or she is a citizen, this subjects the owner of the vehicle to forfeiture and arrest for harboring an illegal entrant. Suddenly, amidst the mass evacuation from South Texas, your kids will be left without transportation and on their own.

Is it any wonder that in case a major storm were to hit the area, a large number of people would chose to weather the storm rather than be arrested and have their car confiscated because they were carrying la tia who doesn’t have any papers?

Now, a barrio-friendly warning could go something like this: “El gobernador Perry dice que hay viene un chubasco muy feo, gente. Dice que salgan de sus casas y se suban al mueble y se vayan para Laredo, San Antonio, o a otros pueblos lejos de la costa. Pero aguas lcon a migra porque si no tienes papeles te van a pescar y deportar. Y si llevas a alguien en tu carro que no tenga papeles son capazes de arrestarte y quitarte el carro.”

Our homeboy message might sound something like this: “El Gov. Perry dice que hay viene un chubasco con mad--. Quiere el bato que le pongan pa’ San Anto, Laredo, o pa’ otras cities lejos de l’agua. Pero wachate con la migra porque van a andar bien perros pidiendo papers, Bro. Si eres mojarra te van a pescar y tirar pa’ l’otro lado. Y si llevas un homey sin papiruchos de repente te quitan la ranfla y te meten al taris a ti tambien por llevarlo. Aguas porque se te cai el canton.”

There is also, believe it or not, a public health consideration to this message as well. Taking into account that high blood pressure and diabetes plagues the health of Hispanics in higher proportions than other groups, Perry’s message might include advice to take along their medication.

The accompanying Spanish message might include an addendum such as: “Y no se les olviden las pildoras pa’ la presión y pa’ la azucar.”

There is a sense of urgency about this now since are well underway into the hurricane season. Will our elected officials and disaster-preparedness administrators get the message and incorporate some of the ideas that Rep. Jackson is advocating to warn blacks and other minorities to the gravity of the situation?

If not, then we’re sure some local residents might not heed the warnings of our emergency preparedness because they’re not “barrio friendly.” There is yet another dicho that might come into play here. That is the one that says: “Todavia ves que viene la tormenta y no te hincas.” (Even after you see the approaching tempest, you still don’t kneel and repent).