EL CHANGO, EL STORK, Y EL GUSANITO DEL MEZCAL

(Once in a while – believe it or not – we like to lay off the serious stuff here at El Rrun-Rrun and share a few fish stories. Actually, the fisherman left, but animal stories will do. One gets weary of cataloguing the peccadilloes of local politicians. There seems to be no end to it. So we though we'd share a few with you. Hope you get a few laughs out of them.)

By Juan Montoya
"I coulda been a contendah..."
Stop me if you head this one.
A mouthy and obnoxious chimp was walking through the Gladys Porter Zoo when he came upon a the herd of elephants peacefully feeding on their hay. He began to goad the beasts with stupid comments like "Tan grandotes y tan pendejos," and "No valen madre," and "Hey,stupid, suck on this peanut."
until one of the patient pachyderms had had enough and approached the monkey to make him shut up.
The other chimps warned the obnoxious simian to tone it down.
"Te van a chingar," one of them warned the ape. "They never forget."
This only set off the shrill chimp and he laid into the elephants again. Suddenly, one of the pachyderms stretched his trunk across the moat and grabbed him and started thrashing him onto the ground and some zookeepers saw him beating on the the animal.
"Lo va a matar si no se lo quitamos," one said to the other.
"Boy, that elephant is really pissed," said the other. "Let's see if we can take him from them."
They lured the livid elephant with fresh sweet hay and when it turned to munch, they grabbed the senseless form of the chimp.
"We better put this monkey in a cage for his own protection," said one, picking up the unconscious animal  and then put him in a cage.
In the morning, when the chimp regained consciousness, he looked around and saw he was in a cage with bars.
"What am I doing in jail?" he asked himself.
Then he remembered and lit up.
"Man, I must have beat up on those stupid elephants. It's no wonder they put me in jail."

"Gotta pee....gotta pee!"
Ever wonder why those egrets and storks standing in the shallow waters stand on one leg and hold up the other?
Listen to what was overheard at the Gladys Porter Zoo when a little boy asked his dad the question.
"Dad, why is that bird holding one leg up?"
"Well, son, I think he wants to go pee and is trying his best to hold it in. You wouldn't pee in the same water you're going to drink and eat, would you?"|

"Is it safe to breathe now?
Every person who drinks mezcal for the first time probably came across the bottle with the worm in it. Seems that there is a whole story behind the marketing of quality mezcal by the color of the worm in the bottle. The following comes from the official tequila website that knows about these things.
The site states that if you'r'e looking for a bottle with a worm, don’t look for it in a bottle of tequila. Only mezcal is bottled with a worm. Mezcal is not the same as tequila. The two should never be confused. Tequila is made exclusively from the blue agave plant, whereas Mezcal can be distilled from blue agave, in addition to the other varieties of maguey plant native to the area.
 The use of the worm, or gusano is exclusive to mezcal. When you drink a bottle of mezcal con gusano – "with worm" – what you actually have in your bottle is the larva of one of two moths that live on the maguey plant. It is a mariposa worm, which feeds on the agave plant, from which Mezcal is made.
Now, why does the worm turn red in the bottom of the bottle?
Would you believe that it's holding its breath in cause it doesn't want to  get drunk?