NO PLANES(Asia), GAS LINES(Mex.), OR BORDER GUARDS (U.S.)

By Juan Montoya
Following the news of air disasters, natural gas and fuel explosions and the porous U.S.-Mexico border, we her at El rrunrrun have come to the conclusion that (for the sake of humanity) there are some people who should not be able to handle certain industries given their track record.
Asian nations, for example, should not be allowed to have national airlines. It's just about every other day that you hear about this or that Indonesian airline plane going down, that Asian country losing an entire jetliner filled with people and not finding it for years, etc.
By now, nationals from other countries should know that these countries are flight-challenged or prone to lose a few hundred passengers a year. Their propensity to crash planes into mountainsides or into oceans is well established by now. Ground them, we say.
Same goes for Mexico.
Mexico should be stopped from handling any kind of flammable fuels. We should have gotten the red flag from the Ixtoc back in the 1980s that spewed millions of barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico and painted some Texas coastlines black. The recent tragedies involving Pemex refineries, platforms, the theft of combustible gasoline from its pipelines, natural gas deliveries to nurseries that go boom, etc., should fuel a drive to prohibit them from handling anything that could possibly explode. Handling flammable materials is not their forte. Apaguen la luz, the fiesta is over!
In contrast, their northern neighbor, the United States, has shown that after decades – if not an entire century – of practice, it has not been able to do a simple thing like controlling its borders. Recent research has proven that it is better at keeping people in than in keeping people out.
Those being kept out have developed ingenious means of crossing themselves and others (remember the 75,000 unaccompanied minors?) that have evaded the multi-million Border Wall and expended number of Border Patrol (and now DPS) officers. They have even devised ways to bring in vehicles across the wall!
 The latest studies by U.S.-Mexico migration guru Wayne Cornelius, indicate that all the efforts of this country to build a wall has only resulted in forcing illegals already here to remain given the difficulty in returning.
Now, if the U.S. were to outsource the immigration duties to another country with a proven track record like, say, the former Soviet Union or North Korea, we might be getting different results. The nationals of those and other countries – like, say, Iran or the Ukraine – have developed a knack for handling guard dogs, concertina wire, and the like. Try to get in there, or for that matter, out, and things may not go well.
Economists say that outsourcing is the way to go in this new global economy. Since we have decided that other people build cars, sew textiles, and in general manufacture everything much cheaper and better than we could, why not try to outsource border security?
Just don't have the Russian border guards take an Indonesian Air plane and allow it to get refueled in Mexico.