Did you hear that while in visiting South Texas, Republican front-runner Donald Trump (ever the entrepreneur) was looking for investment opportunities and was told about the wildly popular bungee jump at South Padre Island?
The Donald immediately sent one of his forward men to reconnoiter the business opportunity and wondered how he could cash in non the craze.
Recognizing Mexicans penchant for the daring and unusual, he applied for the franchise for the bungee jump to the government of Mexico City. The Mexicans, recognizing a sucker when they saw one, immediately granted him the franchise to El Zocalo, the nation's major square in El De Efe.
Trump's motives were not only to cash in on the bungee jumpers, but also to distract would-be immigrants by providing entertainment which would take their minds of the trek north. He asked a few of his undocumented employees in New York and they enthusiastically agreed with his vision.
Enthused, he and his team traveled down to the capital and set about erecting two huge cranes from which the bungee jumpers would launch. The preparations were under way and it came time to use sacks filled with sand approximating the weight of your average obese Mexican and a crowd gathered at the Zocalo to look on in wonder at the crazy gringos heaving costales of sand from the heights of the cranes above.
After a few dry runs, the contraption was ready and Trump decided he would make the first jump himself. He assured his helpers that everything was perfectly fine since the sacks of sand worked perfectly.They fastened the harness on the Donald and he jumped off in a swan dive.
The crowd let out a roar as he descended and then bounced back toward the platform. His helpers were ready to catch him when they grew alarmed because the Donald seemed to have a bleeding gash on his forehead. They jumped back in fear and Trump went back below. Another roar came up from the crowd as he approached the ground.
The second time Trump came back up not only did he have the gash, but he also had a bump or two on his noggin.
This time the alarmed helpers grabbed him before he could fall back to the ground.
"What happened?" they asked him. "Did we calculate the height wrong? Why was the crowd screaming?"
Trump replied.
"No. No. Everything is perfect. The Mexicans down there loved it and kept screaming something every time I came down. What does the word piñata mean?"
13 comments:
What saved El Trump was his Hair. When he jumped his hair opened up like a parachute and he landed gently .
Got a great laugh
""No. No. Everything is perfect. The Mexicans down there loved it and kept screaming something every time I came down. What does the word piñata mean?""
thinking wprst case scenario that was a real gun and it went off at that particular moment...what could happen
chinga tu madre, Blimp. Chinga tu madre, Blowboy!!!
Trump 2016����������������
What would happen? He could have shot his round pink Ass !!
Are you in serious need of housing because your going to be homeless and cant afford rent? Are you a student who wants to save money and would like a free room? Or do you just want to have a free place to crash. Well here is the deal. We have a spare room. We will pay all utilities, except your phone and food. You will get free high speed internet, cable, laundry. Off street parking as well. We just ask for a few things in return. You be Gay male (as we are), or a bi male. You be willing to help around the house keeping it clean and organized, help with lawn care, maybe have a little bedroom fun. No one will know what your really doing here. Your just the roommate. So if your interested in a free room to save some cash for your schooling, or going out with friends, or whatever then feel free to email us. Tell us all about yourself, send a few pics so we can get an idea of who you are. We are very serious about our offer so you be as well or don't bother to email us. I am sure we will get hate mail, but what can you do
I would take a barbiturate to wake up, a recreational high compared to heroin, though just as dangerous in its own way. That was breakfast. A Tuinal, pin it, put a needle in it so it would come on quicker. And then take a hot cup of tea, and then consider getting up or not. And later maybe a Mandrax or quaalude. Otherwise I just had too much energy to burn. So you wake up slow, since you have the time. And when the effect wears off after about two hours, you’re feeling mellow, you’ve had a bit of breakfast and you’re ready for work.
Juan, what's with all the lose dogs in Browntown? A drive around poor neighborhoods suggests the city has a long way to go to finish what it started a few years back. In Las Prietas, 74-year-old Angie Manriquez says there are so many aggressive dogs that many parents won’t let their children play on the swings and slides. In Cameron Park, Mike Vela, 57, a lifelong resident of the community, said menacing strays prevent him from taking his pets for a walk. Loose dogs occasionally fight in the street, he said, and often tear through people’s trash. In Southmost, 49-year-old John Jimenez frequently sees bone-thin animals skulking around neighborhood stores, hoping for a handout. And in his neighborhood near N. Paredes Line Road and E. Price Road, where a group of pit bulls roams free, parents carry a large stick when they walk their children to the bus in the morning.
Let's do something about it!
The only loose Canine in the municipality is Da Mayor; but don't worry , he has two microchips in his rear axles. Rutile Portifolio is leading the apprehension.
I am Mexican / American and will 100% (hands down) vote for Donald Trump. I really hope he wins!!! We need to stop the illegals from coming in. We need to stop ladies wanting to come to the USA just to have their babies so their babies could be Americans. BS!!! Imagine, a lady on the river side of Mexico ready to POP. She says to herself, “Damn, I only need to swim 30 feet, collapse - baby pops out, and he or she will be a 100% US Citizen”. BS!! This needs to stop - and now!! I hate to see all the damn Mexican plates (cars) dropping off their kids at school in the mornings. I’m sorry, but US customs should not allow them to come in. If they want to go to school here, then they need to live here – parents to work here and pay their taxes like the rest of us. Also, come tax weekend, all you see at the stores is cars with Mexican plates. The bridges should completely close on tax free weekend. This is a little appreciation for us US citizens that pay taxes and live here. We work here, live here, and pay taxes. We can’t even enjoy tax free weekend because all the damn people from Mexico hog-up everything. I am so tired of this. I would say that Trump should just ignore the 11M illegals that are here already. He should screen them and allow them just to stay – don’t even waist time. Keep the good and send back the criminals. However, moving forward, no more!! If an illegal comes in, we will house him or her and send them back to their country with an invoice depicting all the housing charges. If these countries think we are going to house their people on US tax payer dollars, they are seriously mistaking. Also, I am sick and tired of people walking the bridge from Mexico to US to purchase groceries with LONE STAR – then they walk right back to Mexico. BS! US Customs should stand at the crossing when they are heading back to Mexico and check the receipts of the groceries purchased. If they paid with US or Mexican currency, no problem, but if they paid with LONE STAR, then they should immediately confiscate all the groceries and tell them that the groceries are being confiscated because they were purchased with LONE STAR and cannot leave the states.
I agree illegals come here only to milk our government, they come and have their babies here and right away they get food stamps, housing and a check for each child cause they won't report where the father of the kids is, I was born here in the USA and have my spouse and immediate family serve in the military and when I needed the help I was denied help, hey I pay taxes what do the illegal pay, nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My vote will be for Donald Trump.
To: August 25, 2015 at 10:36 PM comment
Yes, Donald Trump is the answer. I’m sorry to hear that you did not get the help that is rightfully owed to you and your family. If Mr. Trump wins, he should put my idea in place. For example, our tax percentage is 8.25% on everything we purchase, right? The monies collected thru this tax percentage go to things that we all share - everyone carriers their weight (of course, except the illegals – the informal economy). Well, I think this tax percentage should be changed to 10%. The monies collected from the 8.25% will continue to be used for everything the tax currently covers and the monies from the 1.75% will exclusively be used for our men and women that have served our country in war and that have returned with any kind of disability. It could be emotional, physical, mental…..anything that impairs them from being able to work. I think as a country, we should all contribute monetarily to help our soldiers / vets. The monies from the 1.75% must go into a US fund and should exclusively be used for our soldiers / vets. Our men and women that serve in war and get injured in any kind of way should never feel like, “Oh, no - now what am I going to do with my life when I return to the US? How am I going to support myself or my family?” They should never feel this. We should all pull together plugging money into the 1.75% and support them for the rest of their lives (only the ones that can't work). I think this is the least we all could do for the brave men and women that have returned with permanent injures from war.
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