DA MILLIONAIRE MAYOR WHO LOVED HIS BULL- - - - FREEBIES

By Juan Montoya

For some time now United Brownsville’s mayor, Tony Martinez has been pressuring, cajoling, and moaning that the City should be paying "his" secretary because “She does so much city-related work.”

It looks like he may have forced this level of personal flim-flam to a new level. Cruising job openings at the city reveals this never before seen item: Community Engagement Coordinator

This caught my eye because it contained –THREE- job title words that meant bunkum all in a row, in a SINGLE TITLE!

All those with experience in the (dare we say Da Word?) bullshit world of made-up jobs that are paid for with other people’s money will recognize immediately that engagement is a screaming bullshit (again) word that means, “go to meetings if you want and otherwise throw that word around to bullshit your way into talking to someone who otherwise has no need or desire to talk to you” Coordinator is another baloney word meaning, “interfere with people doing their jobs and insinuate yourself into the control structure of any project or task where you feel the need to inject your nonsense.”

Any title including community means, as we all know, “put me on the meeting invite list, especially if there is food, but for God’s sake don’t expect me to do anything except bamboozle you at meetings and tell you what to do.”

Intrigued and yet horrified at the title I felt the need to actually read through the padding that described the “job”.

Just as I thought, there was a deluge of bullshit (that word, again. Mothers cover your children's ears), including the duplication of other City department duties and the description of how this “job” is to interfere (interface) with other department’s daily operations were there, of course. Most notable were the duplication of the City Public Relations Director’s and the City Manager’s and Health Department responsibilities. (see “Essential Tasks”), but essential to whom?

A quick scan of the listing also provided the required bullshit word of “facilitate”. This is like a notary seal on a bullshit job description and I was not disappointed. Now what in all of this bucket of crap stinks of Martinez and his secretary? Read the following:

Researches attitudes, opinions, and perceptions of selected internal and external groups and refines core messaging to ensure organizational consistency.
Serve as City liaison to coordinate City support for community events.
Serve as voice and image of the City in key discussions and issues, events and outreach programs.
Works closely with elected officials to provide assistance in public appearances, speeches and media interviews.
May assist in planning and implementation press tours, ground breakings, grand openings, dignitary receptions, and other special events.
This is exactly what Mayor U.B. Martinez has been claiming that he needs his secretary paid to do.
The most comical bull poopoo in the job description was a whole titled section called “Involvement With Things” Such drivel deserves special recognition
Go ahead and read it, I could not be making this bullshit up!
INVOLVEMENT WITH THINGS:
Coordinates the activities of those operating equipment that requires extended training and experience such as electronic telecommunications equipment, commercial video equipment; software used for programming custom applications; or the application of custom or commercial financial, accounting, administrative, legal or other complex software systems; may involve installation and testing.
A simple translation is “Tell other people who know how to do their jobs how to do their jobs because they are too complicated for you to have to understand.”
The sections titled “Data Involvement” and “People Involvement” are obvious, patent bunk as well.
DATA INVOLVEMENT:
Coordinates or determines time, place or sequence of operations or activities based on analysis of data or information and may implement and report on operations and activities.
PEOPLE INVOLVEMENT:
Persuade or influence others in favor of a service, point of view, or course of action; may enforce laws, rules, regulations, or ordinances.
Perhaps the most telling of all, if one needed any more proof of Tony Martinez/United Brownsville bullshit is the following:
Provides briefings to the City Council and the City Manager concerning issues affecting public image and, works collaboratively with Public Information Officer to formulate strategies and policies which strengthen the City's image and brand.
This is logo bullshit at its best.
The same logo bullshit shoved down our throats with Debbie Portillo playing Girl Friday and making a point for the record of her bare minimum involvement in the process while taking point in protecting it from “premature disclosure” and being contradicted in public by Ronnie Olivera who thanked her for her efforts. Ronnie doesn’t look like he knows how to wing it when someone has to go off script.
If it smells like logo bullshit, like itinerary bullshit, like event bullshit, like involvement with "things" bullshit, we might have a slight suspicion that it might be bullshit. How about you?

Next: Commissioner Rose "La Chisquiada" Gowen's pet project: A Wellness Coordinator