BUNGEE JUMPING COMING TO 14TH STREET CANTINA

By Ima Lush
Special to El Rrun-Rrun
Bungee jumping is coming to La Catroce Bar!
That establishment, which has traditionally catered to brown-collared patrons from the local barrios since its original owner Mike Chapa – since departed – opened it up at the old Domino's Bar that was left vacant after Juanita retired.

Minda Roberts, the new La Catorce Bar manager, said she hit upon the idea after Charlie's Bar across the street started selling Mexican dishes on the sides for its patrons who felt a yen for a little snack after watching the 11 p.m. floor show.

"I asked myself, now what would attract clients away from Charlie's place where they are watching scantily-clad nubbies wiggle across the floor and sit on customers' laps?" she said. "Besides sex, deathly danger is the next attraction, I told myself. But not just your garden-store variety danger de cajon like getting stabbed by a drunk or shot by a barrio thug claiming to be from Gulf Cartel or La Maña. I mean real danger, like dropping through the air headfirst toward an asphalt parking lot. Now, that's thrills and chills."

Roberts said she convince the owner, Chapa Jr., to try out the idea. At first he was reluctant because of the legal liability. But after consulting with friend's at Louie's Back Yard at South Padre Island, he learned that – if all the precautions are taken – the bungee jump is actually a very safe form of recreation.

"We're not going to let obviously inebriated people make a jump," Roberts said. "And we're not going to allow recently-divorced individuals up to the launch area. You got to screen them before they jump. Oh, yeah, and those customers who owe tabs to the bar can't get up there either. That would be an easy way to welsh on the bar."

This morning, crews were busy measuring the distances using burlap bags filled with sand approximating the average weight of a man who had consumed at least a six pack (72 ounces) before he jumped. El Tenampa Bar owner Willy next door was gracious enough to allow the La Catorce regulars to use his parking lot while the jumps are in progress.

"I can hardly wait to see the first guy jump," Willy, who trouble speaking because of a throat problem, said through his bar employee. "I just hope no one has a corporal accident and we end up getting sprayed by stuff."