Thursday, July 20, 2017


By Juan Montoya
Call it Spanglish, bastardized English, or even South Texas patios, but the language spoken here is unique and particularly creative.

Sometimes its funny. Other times it's downright crude. And sometimes it has nothing to do with the words spoken by other people. Let's go through a few examples.

Remember Chappaquiddick?
You know, the one-car accident Friday, July 18, 1969 that forever tarnished Sen. Ted Kennedy's reputation and resulted in the death of his 28-year-old companion Mary Jo Kopechne. It was determined that Kennedy had been negligent and he pleaded guilty to a charge of leaving the scene of a crash causing personal injury. He later received a two-month suspended jail sentence.

Well, at about that time when the news was hitting the airwaves, I had a friend who was working at Great Society social service agency in Mercedes who considered himself quite the galan. There wasn't a clerk or new employee at the agency who had not been targeted by the guy whose name was Marcos Chapa.

One day he invited a new hire for dinner and the girl – feeling somewhat obligated to Marcos for her job – she accepted. After a nice dinner and drinks, Marcos drove out to one of the irrigation and flood control ditches by the levees in the area and after a while tried to put the make on her.

As the action got a bit too heavy for the girl, she stepped out of the car and yelled: "Chapa quit it. Chapa quit it."
And that's how Chappaquiddick came to be identified with the ditches in Mercedes.

That's just one example. Hark back to the days of the Iran hostage crisis. That was when 52 American diplomats and citizens were held hostage for 444 days from November 4, 1979, to January 20, 1981 in the U.S. Embassy in Tehran.

Before it was all over, the Shah of Iran had fled to Lackland Air Force base in San Antonio and hard-line clerics, the ayatollahs, in Iran demanded the U.S. turn him over to them for execution.

Now, San Antonio is has four military bases and the town is full of military personnel at all hours of the day. So ti was surprising when the top brass issued an order that soldiers should stay away from the West Side (Zarzamora Street, in particular) because of possible threats against them from Iranian extremists.

Everyone was puzzled and when the military was asked why the area was declared off limits, the answer surprised everyone. It seems that military intelligence had overheard some customers ask the waiter at a Mexican restaurant during a particularly brisk day what dishes they had on special for the cold.

"Ay atole," the waiter had answered.


Anonymous said...

Rene Oliveira, you have done a lack luster job. You will not be State Representative any more. Please stop fondling women at shenanigans

Anonymous said...

Lame article, bro. Making fun of LA RAZA never works, dude.

Anonymous said...

Informative minds want to know, what exactly did Cascos do to cease as Secretary of State?

Anonymous said...

Carlos Cascos, what in Gods name happened ?

Anonymous said...

You know what? This is getting embarassing for our community! Vela fights with Trump offends Trump and now Trump looks at our area with anger. Next, Rene Oliveira is destroying nice families by disrespecting man of household and sexually going after wife and promising marriage, then Carlos Cascos resigns or is forced to resign as Secretary of State because if speeches and other issues that will be exposed soon. Everyone seems to be skirt chasers. Lucio is putting religion now to save more elections, little lucio works for companies the community is concerned about and they voted for him. Tony Martinez has done nothing. Get ready community, to go into 911 economically because of these self serving fools. No Tenaska. No Space X. No major employer, nothing. Just food stamps and cocaine industry thriving and putting food on table

Anonymous said...

Ladies and Gentlemen, the major industries in Brownsville are the following: cocaine industry, marijuana industry, lawyer industry, TACOS, and MILk industry. Oh and Tampons and panty shield industry. God Have Mercy on Us

Anonymous said...

Teacher, may I go to the bescuse? Not, may I be excused.
The boy got up to ask the teacher, "Can I go to the bescuse?" and the teacher answered, "May I!" so the boy got in trouble for peeing next to her desk.
Pete Avila was playing in the playground at la Putegnat and he was espeeking
Spanish and Mr. Denton comes out and scream, "Speak English." Pete remembered his English lessons with Miss Castaneda and started espeeking the only English he knew. "Go Tip! Is Tip here? No Tip is not here! "Go Spot, Go!" But Pete was espeeking English con el acento de Miss Castaneda. Remember, raza, those of us old enough to go back that far back. But it
was a lot of good clean fun and we enjoyed the humor and loved our teachers.

That was when children were not taught English at home before going to school, but now the kids know more than the adults do. Now they don't know how to write in cursive or with correct spelling.

Anonymous said...

If some of you pot heads would stop smoking weed, things would be differenent.

I remember the pot heads from my high school days - now days they have sucky jobs and look like shit.

They felt they were on top of the world back then. lol --- y ahora papa? LOL

Anonymous said...

A sixth grader now knows more than the average person ? Okay what is average person you ask ?