Friday, June 28, 2019

NI MODO CARNAL, THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE WAY



Un camarada (they called him El  Huevo because of his high-and- tight hair cut) was driving his carrucha from El Puerto pa Los Pescadores Bar at Market Square y llego  a las Cuatro Esquinas.

He waited for the light to change, which at that intersection of Boca Chica and International boulevards can take an eternity. He was dirty, tired, and not a little  bit aguitado with his boss at his ship-breaking job at the Port.

Today, el mayordomo, un bato de lotrano, lo habia metido al poso (the ship hold) to pull cable. As cutters on scaffolds with acetylene torches showered sparks upon the crew below cutting the steel walls, they tugged on the thick cables running through the ship and piled them in bunches. Others coiled them and a crane lifted the coils for copper salvage.

It was  noisy, dangerous job. At any time a chuck of steel could come hurtling down without warning on the workers below.

"Orale, putos!," they would yell at the cutters who could barely hear them above the din.

So it was that El Huevo sat musing waiting for the light to change. As he waited, he saw someone familiar walking on the side of the road in the same direction he was going and recognized him as uno de los batos who worked at the yard.

"Hey, bro," he called out. "Quieres un aventon?."
"Simon, carnal, ay voy," replied the other, cutting across several lines of traffic to jump in the car.

"A onde vas?" El Huevo asked the guy.
"Pal puente," said the other, "Al puente nuevo."

Since the Gateway Bridge was just a few blocks from La Marketa, it was on Huevo's way.

"Orale," El Huevo nodded and drove down 14th Street. "Yo voy a la marketa a pistearme unas birongas. Me pusieron una chinga."

"En el poso?" asked the other."
"Simon," el Huevo answered bien aguitado. "Como sabias?"
"Se te nota," said the other knowingly.

They rode in silence past Javier Ruiz's 1 2 3 Bar, past Moy's El Mante, past Chapa's, El Border Lounge, El Siete Mares, and almost got to Roosevelt St. when El Huevo suddenly stepped on the brakes, stopped on the side of the street, and told his passenger to get off.

"Bajate, bro."
"Pero porque? Falta un chaingos pal puente." the other protested.

"Que no miras el pinche sign, bato? Quieres que me den un tickete o que?"

"Cual sign?"

"Ese. El de dice nomas One Way. Ya somos dos. Bajate."

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

dices puras pendejadas Juan.

Anonymous said...

Good one! Juan, why do I have so much trouble
submitting my comments all the time. That robot
thing keeps going round in circles and I get so
discouraged and just give up in responding? Could
you fix that?

Anonymous said...

Former U.S. President Jimmy Carter on Friday said a full investigation into the 2016 presidential election would reveal President Donald Trump “didn’t actually win.”

“He lost the election and was put into office because the Russians interfered on his behalf,” he said during a panel event hosted by The Carter Center.

When asked whether he believes Trump is an illegitimate president, Carter suggested that he does.
“Based on what I just said, which I can’t retract,” he said to laughter and applause.

Anonymous said...

Evangelicals were until recently pro-abortion. The original reason for the evangelical opposition to abortion was the need for protestant churches to grow as fast as the catholic church in the US in order to maintain power. Which is kind of logical as the reason the catholic church opposes abortion and contraceptives is also to maximize its growth rate.

Over time this purely power-play policy became a tenet of faith, even though the bible is silent on the issue of abortion, and in Jesus' time post-birth abortions were common. That matters little, as current evangelical Christianity has zero similarity to the teachings of Jesus, and most of it is a complete reversal of everything Jesus preached.

Opposing abortion is now just something you believe if you're an evangelical Christian, just like you love guns, money, and oppose immigration.

Anonymous said...

2:08 well said

Anonymous said...

@June 29, 2019 at 10:07 PM

True but posted at the wrong place - nobody gives a shit

rita