I have recently read of your tiff with the authorities in Califas and your desire to relocate to Anything-Goes Texas immediately. I wanted to reach out to you and let you know that Hidalgo County, Texas is available to immediately accomodate you and Tesla Motors, no Vaseline needed.
You, of course, are well familiar with South Texas given the presence of SpaceX's low-budget backwater test site that passes for a launch site that was given to you lock-stock-and-barrel at nearby Boca Chica Beach. What you may not be familiar with is the Rio Grande Valley's and Hidalgo County's existing relationship with cheap labor automobile manufacturers across the river and the low-wage pool that you and Tesla Motors could exploit to both of our benefits.
We (well, I mean the Mexicans across the river in Tamaulipas) have a community of manufacturing facilities called maquiladoras that operate on both sides of the U.S.-Mexico border, based in Hidalgo County which caters to automobile manufacturing operations in Monterrey, Mexico - a short two-hours away if you don't get kidnapped by the cartels and your people held for ransom until you fork over the dough without any guarantees they will be seen alive again.
If you do invest heavily in personal security and bribe your way and make it through you just may get to do business with them. Then again, the sindicatos (labor unions) in Mexico have made life impossible for most industries. Between those bad boys and the cartels, it's a wonder that they are still in business. But we know a bit of the mordida racket ourselves, B'gawd!
We have a motivated, gung-ho governor who has demonstrated that he will put the Almighty Dollar ahead of the lives of Texans. What a guy!
And Elon (can I call you Elon, since I have a feeling we'll be working close together?), knowing how industry hates volatility, we have propensity here in Hidalgo to elect the people we want and keep them elected. A few dollars to a politiquera here, a few dollars to a politiquera there, and not only they, but the candidates stay bought! You gotta dance with the one who bought ya!
Which brings up Greg. If anyone knows how to dance the industry song to attract business to the Lone Star State, by golly it's Abbott! We also have a hard-working, young, rice-and-beans propelled, built-close-to-the-ground labor force that could (for the right price) be trained to begin manufacturing operations for Tesla Motors in our corner of the llano.
Hey, so what if you never delivered on the 600 high-tech, high-paying ($75,000 each) jobs you promised with SpaceX out at Boca? Ingrates should be thankful you came out and shuffled your C-notes at the beach! Remember Martinez asked you what you saw as you looked out into the Gulf and you answered, "About $25 million in incentives?" Let's get 'er, Elon!
We know you like to play with fire and pop a firecracker now and then so you'll be glad to hear that we no longer have a shelter at home mandate. Fire away! Our ladies are workforce factories. Hey, there's a lot more where they came from!
All that is necessary is for you to pick out any publicly-owned location like a butterfly park or a pristine native habitat and we'll raze that baby like the Cameron County guys did out at Boca Chica. I'll gladly help you point out the virgin plot of publicly-owned land so you can choose. I invite you to visit us in Hidalgo County and discover the incentive and tax abatement possibilities.
Sincerely,
Hopefully soon to be "Richie Rich" Cortez
10 comments:
No chance in Hell. RGV's labor force is largely uneducated and, as such, is unsuitable for manufacturing sophisticated cars. Dallas also has courted Musk, btw.
Its a plot for the pendejos here to offer him the rest of Boca Chica beach say good bye, these self-service idiots will give away even their asses for ????
Kiss boca chica good by this summer next year it will become a private beach for the rich and elected officals.
After Elon stopped laughing at the letter, he looked up the socioeconomic stats on Hidalgo County and then continued laughing!
Buffoonery. Tsk, tsk.
Mr. Musk won’t accept Lone Star cards at the auto plants cafeteria. I guess that eliminates the Land of Welfare as a possible site.
Am I right in saying this letter and its INVITE is not AUTHENTIC?
If it is, WHAT was Judge Cortez THINKING?
WOW and he signed his name WOW
well at least hidalgo county judge cortez tried, i know its a very long shot but nothing lost with asking, btw did Cameron county even even try/??? where was our county judge?
The valley's lazy work ethic is well known throughout the country. That is a major factor.
I heard he's got a restroom the size of a condo and he named it RGV. Thank you self-serving elected officials here in the RGV now a restroom at spcaceX
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