The Onion
BAGRAM, AFGHANISTAN – Following intelligence reports that Moscow offered to pay Taliban-linked militants to kill coalition forces in Afghanistan, President Donald Trump reportedly slaughtered dozens of U.S. service members Monday in hopes of cashing in on the bounties.
“We weren’t about to walk away from a deal like that. Not on my watch. All we had to do is send in some planes, bomb a few of our bases, and tell the Russians where to send the payment. Believe me, no other president has handled Russia the way I have. No one.”
At press time, Republican lawmakers defended Trump’s decision, stating that the president’s methods might be unconventional, but collecting bounties placed on the heads of American troops was good for the economy.
5 comments:
This is not even funny! How can we joke about the killing of those who have volunteered to protect and defend our freedom? Even from Trump, it is a total disrespectful story and demand that you remove it immediately. Shame on you!
I know the pain of losing several close friends in the military and I am absolutely disgusted with this disrespectful feature you call journalism - fake news or not!
The ONION is a satire site.
You are right it is not funny. The whole thing stop being funny once trump won. Now you see why you should have not voted for a coward. Soldiers dying with a prize on their heads is not surprising, but for trump to know about it and not do anything is disgraceful, dishonorable right down piece of shit. But hey, what do you expect from captain heel spars.
The Onion is satire. Some people don't know what satire is and they are going to believe this article is true. Dear Democrats, this is not true. Satire means it's fake news. Not that you really care.
Hey I know the onio La cebolla he's a friend of mine or was....
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