Monday, October 19, 2020

TRUMP SHOWS SOFT SIDE; ADOPTS DEAD RETRIEVER

La Zanahoria

WASHINGTON—Flopping the putrescent animal carcass down in the Oval Office with an introduction of “call him whatever you want, I don’t care,” President Donald Trump announced Monday that the first family had a new member, a dead dog reportedly adopted to soften his image before election day.

“I saw this on the side of the road and I told the Secret Service, ‘Stop the motorcade, that’s it, that’s a brilliant idea, it’s gonna be perfect,’” said Trump as he grabbed an ear to lift up the limp, withered remains of the golden retriever, allowing the media to capture a few images of the deceased canine before its ear tore away, its body fell at his feet, and its head rolled down a limestone walkway in a puddle of blood and brain matter. 

“That’s good, lie down. And stay down, okay? They say if you want a friend in Washington, get one of these—of course, I have friends already, so many friends, but here it is anyway. Here’s a dog. Everyone says this breed is very loyal, so we’ll see, we’ll see. Could become the best dog any president has ever had. I’m told it has a great pedigree, and I’m expecting great things.” 

At press time, Trump was seen kicking the dead dog’s head down the West Wing Colonnade after internal polling showed its approval rating was higher than his.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

El perro era el pinche half coco transgender mutt!!! Hahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

Trump 2020 !

Anonymous said...

HCSO seizes 75 eight-liner machines in Edcouch

Go to raymondville idiotas that's where everybody goes. No se hagan pendejos those joints are owned by somebody untouchable

DO SOMETHING! there are some bars that never closed here JUST LIKE SPI.

Now they drive drunk on central blvd at 12 midnight
cops would not stop them at 2:30 am and even at 3 or 3:30am

Police department running wild
DO SOMETHING TO STOP THESE DRUNK DRIVERS ON CENTRAL BLVD...

Anonymous said...

County officials reflect on census; Judge praises effort to achieve accurate count

WHAT? they never went to the apt complex where I live NEVER not even once I hear they skipped the majority of the section 8 apartment on 802 and this idiots thanks them NO WONDER we're always in the shit hole.

Anonymous said...

SJA to host free webinar for students
For the rich and famous (like the ones in jail).

Anonymous said...

October 20, 2020 at 6:26 AM

shouldn't it be wetinpants? just askin'

Anonymous said...

That dead dog looks like he came from the
Appalachian Mountains and saved by federal agents from being cooked for dinner by the local hillbillys and that pendejo coco wanna be white idiota.

rita