From La Cebolla
NINTH CIRCLE, HELL—Claiming that untold wealth could be yours for the “low, low price of half your immortal essence,” Satan, the Great Tempter and Prince of Darkness, announced this morning a Black Friday deal in which human beings could trade a mere 50 percent of their soul for a lifetime of riches.
“If you’ve ever dreamed of being rich beyond your wildest imagination but didn’t want to give up your entire soul to do it, then I have a deal for you,” said the Father of Lies, speaking in hideous guttural tones as he explained that fortune, power, and influence had never been more affordable than they were right now to mortals who scrawled the promo code “MEPHISTOPHELES” in blood upon the door of their home.
“Finally, it’s possible to become one of the wealthiest people on the planet while still retaining a small part of what makes you human. Act now before you end up poor and destitute! And don’t forget, I’m willing to match whatever offer God makes you. That’s a promise.”
At press time, Satan had reportedly offered to throw in a free year of Apple TV+ with each qualifying purchase.
7 comments:
An added incentive is, you will personally meet Ex-USA President El Trumpo Pendejo in all his glory.
WOW!!! What a deal GO FOR IT PINCHE PENDEJOS HILLBILLYS
MAGGOTS:
I’m off on vacation now, but when I get back in January we’ll still have time to bid the Trump presidency a few more not-so-fond farewells.
Happy new year in advance. Already looking forward to battling through the age of Biden
See you in ’21.
Biden names diverse economic team with four women in top roles to help build recovery
28 years of Donald Trump insulting women
Racist Republicans not only include ethnics but MOTHERS!!!
Starship may fly this week; Planned test would take rocket to 50,000 feet
Invite all the elected official in browntown the county and include bisd and the port NOT TO SEE BUT TO RIDE IN THE BARCO-ESTRELLA - MORONS
Damn that picture on the story isn't The Devil,its a picture of Brownsville Police Chief Felix "El Chapo" Sauceda.
#worstchiefever..
@11:53 Where are you going to vacation at? At Biden's basement! Be careful ahà esta la celosa Half coco mutt retard!! Hahahahaha
December 2, 2020 at 12:44 AM
I D I O T A !
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