JUAN SCHIZOPHRENIC?: APOSTLE OR ROMAN POLITICIAN?

Special to El Rrun-Rrun

Some of us seven El Rrun-Rrun readers have received word that Juan Montoya, publisher of Brownsville's most popular blog, has been carried away by the men in white after he was found in the city editor's desk pulling his ample head of hair over blogger Jerry McHale's latest backhand compliment.

In a previous post, McHale – a retired ESL teacher with the Brownsville Independent School District who fancies himself a writing force – likened JMon to Judas Iscariot for allegedly betraying former municipal judge Ben "Jesus Christ" Neece and not supporting him in blind faith in the District 4 runoff race against local restaurateur Pedro Cardenas.

Montoya said he hadn't realized it was Neece because his halo was clouded by a cloud of bluish smoke. Then he broke into a Bob Marley song (Revolution) and sang "Never make a politician (aaa-aaah) grant you a favour;(doo-doo-doo-doo). They will always want (aaa-aaah) to control you forever, eh!" 

We didn't get it at first, but, alas, it was true.

Then he said he was vexed because McHale then likened him to Marcus Junius Brutus, often referred to simply as Brutus, who was was a Roman politician, orator, and the most famous of the assassins of Julius Caesar.

Brutus joined other Roman senators to kill Cesar when he became increasingly monarchical and autocratic and tied to the interests of Rome's elites (the Galonskyus) who did not want the empire to return to being a republic. They also controlled Rome's politics and its economy.

His name has been condemned for betrayal of his friend and benefactor Caesar, and is perhaps only rivaled in this regard by Judas. He also has been praised in various narratives, both ancient and modern, as a virtuous and committed republican who fought – however futilely – for freedom and against tyranny.

Montoya, as he was carried away by then men in white, was heard saying: "I'm so confused. So what am I, an apostle or a Roman senator? 

We're used to Jerry mangling the Queen's English, dangling prepositions more than he beats his male member, and mixing metaphors. But to go from a slave of the Roman empire to being likened to one of its political leaders is driving me batty!"