WASHINGTON—Huffing and puffing as he sprinted in over 30 minutes late to his 8 a.m. morning meeting, Tucker Carlson told coworkers he was late to work Monday because he got held up being murdered by hordes of violent minorities again.
“Hello everyone, I know I’m late, I would have been here on time if I hadn’t just been viciously disemboweled by several families of bloodthirsty illegal immigrants who came to this country to replace us and the American values we hold so dear,” said Carlson, who sat down and let out a labored breath before giving the Fox news staff a detailed description of over two dozen groups of minorities of all different races, genders, and sexualities who had brutally beat him to death at every stage along his commute.
"It’s just so annoying, I had my entire drive planned out to make it here early, but then dozens of illegals pulled me from my car and beat me to death at a coffee shop, gas station, and even on the interstate. I just kept telling them to go back to their country and let me go to my honest, hardworking American job, but they just kept slashing my throat or shooting me in the face and saying Joe Biden sent them. And now the whole day has to be pushed back. Typical.”
Carlson then proceeded to spend an hour in the bathroom, and upon exiting, told coworkers that an immigrant had beat him senseless in a stall and as retaliation, clogged the toilet.
28 comments:
Rep. Louie Gohmert Joins Crowded GOP Race For Texas Attorney General
Gohmert, an extremist right-winger, stirs up Republican infighting with his challenge to incumbent Ken Paxton, who has been endorsed by Trump.
Ha ha ha
(Republicans are evil and anti-American)
If only!
Republican Tucker Carlson admits he has shit for brains.
Breaking News.
Me to Carlson: "Fuck you. Fuck you down!"
Fuck that nerd!
pussy. Couldn't fight himself out of a paper bag, like Trump.
HO-TOH!!!
Russia-loving Republican.
Like Trump.
I was told that is what Montoya said, when he arrived late at his favorite 14th. Street cantina.
Just another sick Republican.
He is ruining America. Pro-Covid and pro-Putin. Trump ass-kisser.
(en otras palabras, vale verga)
c/s
He was on the Brownsville bike and hike trail. A taco alien was hiding near the BISD building. Nothing new for Brownsville
Earlier this month, the city of McAllen announced it would feature 13 of the Rio Grande Valley high school marching bands as special guests and part of the McAllen Holiday Parade entertainment lineup, but the organizers had a few surprises left up their sleeves.
Dallas Cowboys wide receivers Michael Gallup and Cedrick Wilson Jr., and current NFL interception leader Trevon Diggs are set to be a part of a powerhouse of celebrities joining McAllen to celebrate the holiday season.
Y aqui the one and only "el enano" will be the powerhouse of celebrities part of the holiday parade to celebrate the holiday season no where else but brownsville texas 78520.
Joining "el enano" will be a host of elected officials well known for lining their pockets to Quick Access to Business funds geared for the public, and not for elected officials.
MERRY CHRISTMAS BOLA DE PENDEJOS DON'T FORGET NOT TO VOTE
State Rep. Terry Canales appointed to Texas Sunset Advisory Commission
Other state reps from the RGV were appointed to the Bird watching commission and others to the How High is the water commission, the rest were sent home...
That chicken shit lying cunt can't fight himself out of a paper bag.give it up to Republicans that love listening to fking dorks but keep sending them your money dummies lol.
To
November 23, 2021 at 8:58 PM
We should BOO these no good politicians as they parade through the parade to show them that they really suck, and we're not happy. Hopefully we won't see their ugly faces in another parade. Pinches Sin Verguensas!!! They parade, smile, and wave como que todo esta con madre en Brownsville.
5:16 pm.
NO VALE VERGA.
Carlson darling, hold that dream. It is coming to you. All you have to do when you go out to eat, tell the cook you want the dream special. Also, cleaning lady uses cyanide to disinfect your dreams.
November 23, 2021 at 9:02 PM
En otras palabras los pendejos del valle no valen madre y no tienen huevos para peliarles a los gringos OJETES!
Lets all vote for perros and sent them up to austin
G.O.P. Fights Covid Mandates, Then Blames Biden as Cases Rise
typical racist republicans puros mamones
This is what Biden said last year about corona deaths
S." Anyone responsible for that Manny deaths does not deserve to be president"
There are more deaths now under Biden than trump, even with vacines. So according to Biden he does not deserve to be president.
Come on man!
November 24, 2021 at 6:22 PM
TRUMP LOST PINCHE RACIST REPUBLICAN GET OVER IT RED-ASS MORON....
The above comment of abusive language and name calling (7:01 am) is the typical mind of a liberal democrat. No logical arguments just accusations of racism for everything they don't agree with
para el pendejo at: November 25, 2021 at 3:45 PM
So its ok to insult mexicans but not el trump and his cohorts red-ass racist republicans there really is no logic to your stupidity (3.45pm). Plain stupid must be a coco wanna be white hillbilly pinche stupid moron.
Biden on Trump ban for China travel in 2020: disgraceful and xenophobic
Biden in 2021: travel ban from African countries, its ok now
Democrats response.silence
Hypocrisy at its best
Hypocrisy defined by red-ass republicans LIE LIE and more LIES, than deny deny deny. Trump hypocrisy stating false or misleading claims totals 30,573 over 4 years NOW THAT'S HYPOCRISY - red-ass republicans...
Where did u see an insult against mexicans in my posting? Like I said the mind of a liberal democrat in full display.
Just remember that the Omicron is so scary that the border is still a gaping mess.
Tucker sucks but is still a genius compared to the fools on CNN and CNBC and the pedophile in the White House
November 28, 2021 at 4:54 PM
red ass republicans
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