La Cebolla
1951: Putin’s parents decide to try for an evil megalomaniac.
1952: Emerges from mother’s vagina as part of audacious gambit to assume complete control of Russia.
1953: Lifeless stare perfected.
2013: Is awarded black belt in tae kwon do following the mysterious deaths of the martial art’s 70 million other practitioners.
1952: Emerges from mother’s vagina as part of audacious gambit to assume complete control of Russia.
1953: Lifeless stare perfected.
1967: Opponent for student council treasurer suffers mysterious organ failure.
1971: Invades first-ever country as part of University-sponsored study abroad program.
1975: Graduates from Leningrad State University with a major in aggression.
1976: Begins career in government with low-level job as the KGB’s social media intern.
1977: Starts carrying saber around 24 hours a day
1978: KGB discovers Putin has already been clandestinely working there for several years.
1978: Sets personal best dead-lift weight of 85 pounds.
1977-79: Serves as interim U.S. secretary of housing and urban development.
1999: Ruthlessly calls Boris Yeltsin a little pudgy doughboy who loves to stuff his face with sweets until the Russian leader resigns in tears.
2000: Putin’s election to the Russian presidency becomes landmark 1-millionth American-influenced foreign policy strategy that will eventually backfire.
2006: Another journalist decides to be murdered by the government.
2008: Dmitry Medvedev becomes president, forcing Putin to control country from prime minister’s office down the hall.
2011: Successfully arm wrestles himself in show of strength.
2013: Putin’s political career in jeopardy after affair with brown bear comes to light.
2014: Putin annexes Crimea by pure accident.
2015: Demands Ukraine stay out of NATO at risk of brutally violent retribution but no worries if not.
2016: Smiles.
2019: Learns about the fall of the Soviet Union and is furious.
2020: Russian constitution amended to allow Putin to rule for several terms after death
2021: Delays invasion of Ukraine to focus on losing pandemic weight.
2025: Chokes out that he appreciates the irony right before dying of poisoning.
2038: Seventh presidential term begins.
9 comments:
Source?
certainly not yours, Montoya.
still, cute.
Hey, Juan, do a timeline of your upcoming demise, puto!
what do you contribute to Brownsville Life, ese?
Chismoso of The Year?
Breaking News! Pfizer recalls 3 blood pressure medications over risk of CANCER! All you pinche government lab ratas will soon be getting anal cancer por pendejos! Especially ese guey transgender dumpster rat who loves sucking Trump's chorizo! Hahahahaha!
Sounds like el trumputo but powerless and stupid. racist republican
I have come to the conclusion that President Biden is too kind but that if Trump were president he would have: served the USA on a golden platter, gladly bent himself over for Putin, and have grabbed the Statue of Liberty by the p***y. Que viva Biden and the people that elected him. Ojo mucho ojo a Los que se duermen los empinan.
Navy SEALS have their eyes on that idiot. And RRUMP loves him.
Eldelasprietas.
Ginni Thomas urged Trump’s chief of staff to overturn election results
Remember she's a gift from God, how can an oreo cookie have so much power and be a racist republican and for God to sent him a gift and a White one!
WOW!!!!!
Looks like ese pendejetes hillbilly coco wanna be white idiota y RATA. Lately he's been hanging around the adams st area. If something goes missing now you know who took it. EL MAMON DE TRUMP.
Former KGB guy what more do you want to ask about, this says it all.
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