La Cebolla
“To the brave officers who heroically stood outside the school to defend this pavement against attack, we offer our undying thanks,” said Uvalde native Jim Clabor, his eyes welling up with emotion as he recalled the innocent Toyotas and Fords whose bodies might have been struck by gunfire if not for the courageous actions of police.
“The only reason this beautiful blacktop surface emerged intact from the shooter’s rampage is because these officers rose to the occasion and refused to let anything happen to our precious parking lot. We are blessed that every 9-foot-wide space survived Tuesday’s massacre, allowing future generations to park their cars here without fear.”
At press time, Texas schools were reportedly increasing the security presence in their parking lots, staffing them with officers sworn to take a bullet for the pavement if necessary.
Meanwhile, in Houston, while addressing the massacre that occurred at the elementary school in the state only three days earlier, National Rifle Association CEO Wayne LaPierre told attendees at the organization’s annual meeting Friday that mass shootings could be perfectly safe when carried out by a trained, responsible gun owner.
“By following a few basic gun safety rules, there’s no reason a mass shooting should hurt anyone,” said LaPierre, who lamented that the recent string of shootings in Uvalde, TX; Buffalo, NY; and Laguna Woods, CA, among countless others, could have been a stress-free experience for everyone if the gunmen had only enrolled in the right training course.
“It’s all about knowing how to properly handle your firearm. That’s why the NRA offers a variety of courses to teach prospective mass shooters the best practices. Gunning down dozens of people can be completely harmless and free of danger, but you’ll never see the left-leaning media covering the safe shootings, will you?”
At press time, LaPierre had offered to demonstrate.
7 comments:
Where is Uvalde's State Represenative ? Isn't Henry Cuellar their state rep.?
National Rifle Association CEO Wayne LaPierre said the magic words after the senseless killing of 21 innocent children and teachers," if the gunmen had been properly trained and enrolled in right training courses''. The QUESTION IS'" HOW DID THIS 18 YEAR OLD MALE GET NOT JUST ONE, BUT TWO AR15 RIFLES WITHIN DAYS PRIOR TO KILLINGS? He had NO training, and definitely had no responsibility nor respect for human life. Who sold him the guns, and who were the guns registered to who? Who? Mr. LaPierre is monitoring this so called suggestion? Texas did away with training and with permits. Where Mr. LaPierre is the Congressman for Uvalde? Check out the Uvalde police, they were supposedly trained, and responsible, but completely useless in the Uvalde mass shooting.
Maybe he had better manners than Beano O'Rourke.
Some people only want cops to have guns. Well, if that dog won't hunt, I sure as hell don't want to give up my guns.
Don't give teachers a choice. Make them carry a gun.
In the Brownsville-Harlingen metropolitan area, there were an average of 25.9 daily new coronavirus cases per 100,000 residents in the week ending May 24 -- the fastest case growth of any city in Texas. The metro area’s most recent case growth rate is basically unchanged from the week prior, when there were an average of 21.2 daily new cases per 100,000 residents.
May 28, 2022 at 10:02 AM
beaner will be better than the begal pendeje there now! IDIOTA
All of the sudden the haters and the know it all have an answers?
May 29, 2002 at 6:16 PM
You are right!
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