Thursday, August 17, 2023

CHRISTIANS EXPLAIN WHY JESUS WAS TOO LIBERAL



La Cebolla

Justin Fielder, Food Critic: “He fed 5,000 hungry people with five loaves and two fish when he could have easily just called the police and had them all tear gassed.”

Pam Burlson, Marriage Counselor: “That left-wing zealot cured the sick and didn’t even set up a years-long payment plan that destroys their credit.”

Lenny Kolyako, CEO: “He told his followers to leave everything behind and follow him, with no regard for its effect on local small business owners.”

Lonny Maddox, Barber: “He could’ve just as easily preached the Bible with a marine cut.”

Barbara Collins, Counselor: “To be fair, how could Jesus not turn out to be a raging liberal with a conservative dad like that?

Marisa Bautista, Homemaker: “He was arrested. I don’t listen to the teachings of criminals.”

Ginny Ruggeiro, Homemaker: “I’d prefer if he’d covered himself up a bit more up on that cross.”

Susan Byrne, Cashier: “You shouldn’t be multiplying fish when the hungry are probably just selling them for meth.”

Hellen Beard, School Teacher: “Dying for the sins of humanity doesn’t teach personal responsibility.”

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

A teacher complaining about not teaching personal responsibility? They don't or are not allowed to teach values like personal responsibility. They teach them to blame everything but themselves.

Anonymous said...

Houston-area woman charged with threatening judge overseeing Trump’s Jan. 6 trial
Abigail Jo Shry is accused of calling the judge’s chambers and leaving a voicemail threatening to “kill anyone” who went after the ex-president.

I think we are in trouble here. La pulga has started selling masks of trumputo at 10 bucks each. I think I need one, or I just won't go to Houston, Houston, Houston!

LOS ASTROS QUE? PIERDE PIERDE Y PIERDE.

Anonymous said...

How Trump Uses Supporters’ Donations to Pay His Legal Bills
bola de pendejos and also to paid stormy daniels keep giving this idiota more

Anonymous said...

Cinemark theaters in the Valley to partner with delivery services.

The only exception is you can't order a girl friend, that you have to provide yourself, or even a boy friend chuckssss, my luck....

Anonymous said...

People are idiots...

Anonymous said...

ST. JOE IS A LIBERAL LET THE RICH GET RICHER AND THE POOR GET POOREST.

Anonymous said...

And Santa Claus died in a car accident, that's why he doesn't deliver anymore. The Easter bunny was shot and killed in Matamoros. The city of Brownsville is the best city in the RGV? Haaaaaa

Anonymous said...

If Jesus had been Liberal he would have said " kill everyone and their offspring."

Anonymous said...

Jesus is poor I just saw his bank statement. pobresito. Don't qualify for mediaid, snap, welfare and all gimme gimme programs, he wrote on the application that he was the owner of the Universe, so Maruca de la Espada disqualified him.

Anonymous said...

GOD will dam you for disqualifying his sun....

Anonymous said...

August 17, 2023 at 1:45 PM
FUNNY

Anonymous said...

In Mexico parents have to pay for their kids’ education. Included in this fee is their food if they don’t take their own, school supplies and building maintenance. No buses! No free food. No free school supplies! And guess what? When a youth in Mexico graduates he/she can read and write. This country of ours has only become a country of waste and pity thanks to the Democratic Party. It’s high time we made the parents in this country more accountable.

Anonymous said...

August 20, 2023 at 9:41 AM

Who is this moron?

rita