EVENTS CONSERVATIVES BLAME ON DIVERSITY, EQUITY AND INCLUSION

La Cebolla

1. 911: Conservatives claim that if the hijackers had been white males, they could have finished off the Pentagon like originally planned.

2. The Crucifixion Of Christ; The only reason Pontius Pilate was governor of Judaea was because he was Black and bisexual.

3. Peanut Butter Jar Empty Already: Damn you, George Washington Carver!

4. Oklahoma City Bombing: If we didn’t have an open immigration policy that allowed the Irish to enter the country, Timothy McVeigh could have never detonated that truck.

5. Premature Ejaculation: Baby…please…it’s DEI’s fault that I couldn’t stay hard.

6. Sinking Of The "Titanic": Something about the name Titanic sounds Chinese to us.

7.  Wife Stopped Answering To "Sugar Lips": Now she’s demanding to be called Mayor Sugar Lips, as if she deserves to be promoted just because of her gender.

8. "Challenger" Explosion: The space shuttle was enraged about having two women, a Black man, and an Asian American man aboard, so it took matters into its own hands.

9. Harvard Rejecting Your Beautiful Son: Your son worked so hard, and he absolutely wasn’t rejected due to his terrible grades, dearth of extracurriculars, or total lack of ambition.

10. Jeffrey Epstein’s Suicide: Jeffrey Epstein was so sad about initiatives to hire more diverse prison guards in the facility where he was an inmate that he killed himself.

11. Wife No Longer Respecting You: It couldn’t possibly have to do with your racist tirades on Facebook, Truth Social, and Nextdoor.

12. The Words Entrepreneur, Chaise, Fiancé, Bureau, And Déjà Vu: How dare these foreign words come in and take jobs away from hardworking American syllables.

13. Two-For-One Drink Deals Only Applying To Beer And Wine: The woke liberal agenda has been blacklisting scotch drinkers for ages.