Texas Reporter
BREAKING: San Antonio to Be Renamed “Tonyville” in Effort to Scrub Spanish from Texas Map
“If the name starts with ‘San,’ it ends with communism,” says spokesperson for Texans United for Naming Towns Sensibly (TUNTS).
The great Texas renaming crusade is officially underway, and first on the chopping block: San Antonio, which will soon be known as Tonyville – because, quote, “we like saints, but only if they sound like they own a Bass Pro Shop.”
Backed by hardline linguistic purity groups like:
• Christians for Anglo Cartography (CAC)
• Freedom Fried PAC
• and Texans Opposed to Romantic Languages (TORL),
this campaign is calling Spanish place names “a threat to the moral fiber of directional signage.”
• Christians for Anglo Cartography (CAC)
• Freedom Fried PAC
• and Texans Opposed to Romantic Languages (TORL),
this campaign is calling Spanish place names “a threat to the moral fiber of directional signage.”
Additional proposed rebrands include:
• Corpus Christi → Jesus Beach
• El Paso → Y’all Paso
• Del Rio → Real River, TX
• Laredo → Freedom Junction
• Llano → Flat Jack
• Los Fresnos → Them Trees
• San Marcos → Marksville
• Las Colinas → The Hills (But Proud)
• Corpus Christi → Jesus Beach
• El Paso → Y’all Paso
• Del Rio → Real River, TX
• Laredo → Freedom Junction
• Llano → Flat Jack
• Los Fresnos → Them Trees
• San Marcos → Marksville
• Las Colinas → The Hills (But Proud)
A TUNTS press release stated:
“Texas place names should reflect our values: clarity, patriotism, and the God-given right to mispronounce queso.”
“Texas place names should reflect our values: clarity, patriotism, and the God-given right to mispronounce queso.”
The Rio Grande may also be renamed River USA and a petition is circulating to exile the ñ from keyboards statewide.
Historians, geographers, and Spanish teachers are calling it “deeply unserious,” but supporters say they won’t rest “until every map in Texas reads like a Bass Pro gift registry.”
Coming soon:
The Great Tex-Mex Rebranding — because apparently nachos are suspicious now too.
The Great Tex-Mex Rebranding — because apparently nachos are suspicious now too.
10 comments:
And Mexican regional specialties had originated in other cultures anyway -- pan dulces were influenced by the French, and al pastor was based on lamb shawarma from the Lebanese. Mexican cooking is about experimentation and innovation.
I'm all for this initiative but only if they start by renaming Brownsville Shitsville.
It is sad that we are in 2025 and this racist nonsense is still happening. In strad of moving forward we are moving backwards. Somos tards, as in retards.
You're just pissed "Johnny" because Trump is taking away your free lunch ticket. I've got one for you. Montoya, a derivative of "monte" and "valle". How about we just call you "idiot from the valley of trees"? Can you please just get a real job and stop forcing election candidates into paying you to write something positive about them and falsely making them think that you make a difference? Your track record is pretty shitty and there's a lot of wasted money that could have gone to the homeless.
Why don't you write something with substance, instead of always being a hater and a dick....
Montoya does make a difference in voting. I know that I am not voting for any dirty dick coach to the bisd board. They are all dirty.
Te cojo, guey.
Good thing
Brownsville is named after our scein
😂
The homeless are into drugs, alcohol, stealing and they like not paying taxes and living off you.
The people in San Antonio can't even pronounce the name of their county correctly.
Post a Comment