La Cebolla
CHICAGO—In response to countless posts and online petitions in the nearly 10 years since the fast food giant discontinued the fan-favorite menu item, McDonald’s officials announced this week that they had brought back the beloved Snack Rat.
“The groundswell of energy for the Snack Rat to return has been wonderful, so of course we had no choice but to give to our loyal fans that burst of juicy rat flavor they love,” said McDonald’s CEO Joe Erlinger, licking his fingers after taking a ceremonial first bite of the crispy whole rat wrapped in a warm flour tortilla.
“Whether you get the specialty McViscera sauce, cooling garlic ranch, or zesty habanero, that tender and juicy rat always shines through. Although some fans may find that the Snack Rat tastes slightly different than they remember, we’re proud to announce that the subtle change is due to the fact that the rats we capture and fry now have never been frozen.
"Keep an eye out for other exciting such as the Rodent Sausage McGriddle, the Spicy Rat McNuggets, and even the return of the limited-edition Lil’ Droppings McFlurry!”
At press time, McDonald’s was reportedly planning to reintroduce fries cooked in the original rat tallow.
4 comments:
They had the rat burgers at the Burger King in Harlingen and it didn't work out. Locals prefer taquache meat. Tastes like chicken.
“I’ll Be There (With a Rat in a Tortilla)”
(A Freddy Fender–style ballad)
Verse 1:
If you’re lonely late at night, and the drive-thru sign still glows
If your stomach starts to grumble, and the hunger only grows
Don’t you cry, don’t you fear
I’ll be rolling up right here
With a rat in a tortilla, piping hot and full of cheer
Chorus:
I’ll be there with that crispy little tail
Wrapped up tight in flour like a holy bedtime tale
With some sauce so bold it burns
And a side of fries that turns
Your sorrow into salsa, mi amor, sin fail
Verse 2:
If the world feels cold and fake, like a microwaved tamal
And your friends all laugh and say, “That’s not real meat at all”
Take a bite, close your eyes
Taste the truth beneath the lies
That’s no chicken, that’s a rodent blessed beneath the border skies
Chorus (repeat):
I’ll be there with that crispy little tail
Wrapped up tight in flour like a holy bedtime tale
If your heart begins to ache
I’ll bring napkins for your sake
And a rat taco to heal you without fail
Verse 3
Si te sientes tan perdido, sin comida y sin amor
Yo te traigo este ratoncito, con tortilla y con sabor
No es de lujo ni es de ley
Pero cura el alma, güey
Y se come mejor con llanto que con un doctor
Outro (spoken softly):
Con todo mi amor… y poquito de limón.
(Locals prefer taquache meat. Tastes like chicken.) I'd bet you'd genuinely know all about that, huh?
Is this the McDonald's at SpaceX?
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