DURHAM, N.C.—Noting that adopting the religious belief system would allow individuals to fully enjoy the holiday season in all of its glory, a report released Tuesday by the Duke Divinity School revealed that there is still time to convert to Christianity before the start of Christmas.
“Whether you’re a member of another faith, atheist, or agnostic, there’s ample time in the week leading up to Christmas to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior,” the report read in part, adding that just by stopping at a nearby church and consulting with a pastor in the next four days, a person could make the yuletide gay with the comforting knowledge that God sacrificed his only son to die on the cross and be reborn for their sins.
“Indeed, it takes but a second to allow Christ into your heart. And the relief that you’ll feel as you set up a nativity scene, hang mistletoe, rush out for last-minute gifts, and decorate your Christmas tree with fellow Christians will last forever.”
The report also noted that for those who ignored these findings, there still remains all of eternity for them to burn in Hell.
14 comments:
Nothing against folks who worship Jesus, Allah, Buddha or any assorted religions. Keep in mind to be tolerant of anyone that doesn’t share your views or beliefs. They have the same rights as everyone else. No religion is the “right one “.
May God damn you....
Satire of course. But not everyone here knows your source, Juan. I wonder if you really do.
And just when I thought you couldn’t go further left, you mock Christianity like the lefties do.
I think you know not what you do.
8:21. Right back at you.🖕🏽
Oh, go stuff yourself with a footlong hot dog, you insipid infidel!!!
Hillbilly Vance and his Indian wife?
Uh, no
MAGA here.
Wow dude! For a liberal and inclusive, educated person such as yourself, it is amazing how intolerant you are towards views other than your own. There is no sky fairy 🧚 and if there does happen to be one, he/she/it will not be on your side. Hateful Troll 👿 francisco!
Religion poisons everything. God belief is an accepted mass delusion. These people suffer from religious psychosis. Time to grow up kids, there is no tooth fairy, Jesus, or Santa Claus.
Religion produces bizarre metamagical beliefs as if they were real. Religion, science fiction, and conspiracy theories have magic but all of them lack evidence. It feels great to believe in all these unexplainable things. Schizophrenia, TL epilepsy, and drugs, psychotropic drugs will have you talking to god, digital midgets, cubed lizard people and aliens but it's all bullshit. It's all in your head.
Time to grow up, stop believing in Myths, Fables and Fairytales.
The Absence of Evidence ... is the evidence.
Do people understand that a 14-year-old girl is an eighth grader in junior high school? These are monsters. It's INSANE that entire pages are blacked out in what is being released to the public. That isn't name removal.
That's story removal.
To each individual his/her religion is the right one. Respect is the key word.
Many individuals criticize religion for their shortcomings. Maybe these individual’s shortcomings are because of their lack of a religion. Religion tends to bring a calming effect on an individual. We as a nation have strayed away from this calmness and leaned toward chaos. Peace my friends and have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
It is amazing right? At 8:33. Here you have a blogger who I will personally send a CD of George Strait “I hate everything” puro pedo and just hates everyone. Interesting stories and great writing ✍️ but how about quit writing about dead and defeated cortina and loser trump… and focus on local news that impacts us in the valley, ESE
1:04. This is a variety blog. If you want local news, watch TV.
Create your own blog and you can publish whatever you want.
Not even your old lady puts up with your demands. No traes nada.
“You claim to be a player but I fucked your wife” (Tupac)
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