BIRD SKIPS LATIN JAZZ FESTIVAL, MAY APPEAR IN EL JARDIN HOTEL

Legendary jazzman Charlie Parker told the city of Brownsville to take his name off the Latin Jazz Festival because he would not be able to make the gig. "I don't know how to put this," Parker said through a medium. "But I'm basically dead. I may make an appearance at the El Jardin Hotel, but I'm not sure." Parker said city manager Charlie Cabler had contacted his agent to get him to come to Brownsville, but he said he was upset over the Men II Boyz fiasco and he didn't want to deal with the hassle. "Nothing personal, dig," Parker said from beyond his Kansas City grave. Parker said he dug Chuco Valdez and Machito, with whom he teamed up on Mango Mangue. "Some of those riffs are on 16s, which is my groove, but the Caribbean music is too hot and spicy for my taste." Parker applauded the tireless efforts of jazz lover George Ramirez and said he'd be ready to play straight up bebop whenever the city was ready for it. "Not many peoeple know this," Parker said. "But I was down here once with (Xavier) Cugat at the El Jardin and wrote the tune Perdido after I spent a weekend playing at the Rendezvous Club in Matamoros. Those were some fine days, fine ladies."