YOU CAN LICK YOUR CAKE AND SPIT IT, TOO

By Juan Montoya

We were talking about the brouhaha that erupted after the city commission just said "no" to City Commissioner Charlie Atkinson's move to issue an additional $3.13 million in certificates of obligation to upgrade the Sports Park facilities to UIL standards at a downtown watering hole when Rudy Es Talon sauntered over to our table.

Aside from Don Pedro, Es Talon is one of those people that always seems to be in the loop concerning events going on in City Hall.

He walked over and asked us if we had had a piece of cake from the birthday celebration for Hizzoner Pat Ahumad and commissioner Melisa Zamora's fete at the old federal building.

We said we hadn't and he – all-knowing and sage as he is – said cagily we hadn't missed lickety spit.

"What do you mean," asked Estanislado, who was present, with obviously piqued interest.

"It seems," whispered Es Talon conspiratorially, "that when the majority of the commission voted not to go along with Charlie and not issue the $3.13 million in certificates of obligation, he stormed out of the meeting and as he walked by the cakes for Pat and Mellie, he leaned down and licked off her name and then – ready for this? – spit on it!"

"What about the mayor's cake?" asked Stan. "Anything happen to it?"

"I don't think so," said the Don. "But maybe he didn't like German chocolate cake and liked the white frosting on Mellie's instead."

"I guess it's a sort of poetic justice," said Stan. "Mellie licked him on the COFs and Charlie licked her cake and spit on it."