HAVE GUN...WILL NOT TRAVEL, TO TEXAS, ANYWAY

By Juan Montoya
Our intrepid Gov.  Rick Perry is at it again.
Not content to have been snubbed by the Republican Party during the presidential primaries lat go-round after he forgot which departments he was going to eliminate during a debate, but now he's traveling to California trying to entice corporations to relocate to the business-friendly Lone Star State.
Now Gov. Rick is sending furtive messages to gun and ammunition makers and related manufacturers in states that are contemplating tougher gun laws.
According to USA Today, the latest Perry gambit involves him writing to at least 13 manufacturers in states from Oregon to New York we in Texas are friendly to the Second amendment's phrase on Americans' "right to bear arms" and inviting them to come on down heah' and set up shop.
He is among friends.
Rep. Jeff Duncan (D-S.C.), Idaho economic development officials, as well as Mississippi's Republican Speaker of the House are also pulling out all the safety stops to lure the poor bedeviled manufacturers of weapons and related manufacturers.
So far, unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), none have taken the bait, and one, Oregon-based Crimson Trace, which manufactures laser sighting systems, have given the idea thumbs down. Apparently, that dog won't hunt with them.
Said Kent Thomas, the director of marketing for the company, there is really no reason for the move because they are happy with the "entrepreneurial spirit of Oregon and "there is no reason for us to move."
S.C's Duncan waxed poetic in his patriotic appeals to the purveyors f death in the following appeal: "The enemies of freedom are waging an all-out assault on the Second Amendment of the Constitution, which we have sworn to defend," he wrote George Killitedes, chief executive of the Freedom Group, whose Remington Arms division has a manufacturing plant in Ilion, N.Y.
Now, we don't have the contents of Perry's correspondence to the weapons manufacturers, but we wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't as eloquent as the South Carolinian's. He could start with the stand at the Alamo (although that didn't help and resulted in a massacre), the Ft. Hood mass killing, or the bullets flying across the Rio Grande from the cartel-fueled violence across the river.
He could, as the pizza guy is doing in Virginia Beach, give any gun manufacturer who comes to the Lone Star a 15 percent discount on pecans, or something Texan.
Or, he could point out that Texas is gun-friendly in more ways than one.
Remember when then-Vice President Dick Chaney hit a poor unsuspecting guest at former ambassador Anne Armstrong's ranch in South Texas with errant bird shot? The hosts and the Department of Public safety investigators gave Chaney a decent interval for his sobriety to return before entering the ranch and no-billing the cantankerous Chaney of any fault.
"Hey, you shoot guns, sometimes the bullets go the wrong way, what the heck! We's gun friendly down heah!"