The Onion
WASHINGTON—Returning from vacation appearing more relaxed than he had in months, creatively recharged Fox News host Tucker Carlson told reporters Tuesday that he had come up with a week’s worth of show ideas after a Hispanic cashier gave him the wrong change.
WASHINGTON—Returning from vacation appearing more relaxed than he had in months, creatively recharged Fox News host Tucker Carlson told reporters Tuesday that he had come up with a week’s worth of show ideas after a Hispanic cashier gave him the wrong change.
“I’m really glad I switched up my routine, because you never know when some lazy, uneducated Hispanic teenager tries stealing from you by giving you a single instead of a ten back and inspiration will strike,” said a tanned, smiling Carlson, adding that the experience immediately gave him the idea to spend at least a week criticizing immigrants for taking over the country and being ungrateful for the jobs America is providing them.
“Those last couple weeks before my vacation, I felt like I was really phoning it in creatively. You can only do many episodes about how Ilhan Omar is leading a cabal of minorities to install Black supremacy in the country before it begins to feel a bit stale, you know?
"But then that Hispanic cashier tried to stiff me and didn’t apologize well enough for my liking, and then I heard him speaking Spanish to a coworker as I was leaving—it was like a light bulb went off.
"The creative juices started flowing, and before I knew it, I had a solid several hours of attacking immigrants for invading our country and uprooting traditional American values. I feel like the old Tucker Carlson again.”
Carlson added that although he did feel creatively rejuvenated, one aspect of returning to work he wasn’t looking forward to having to send a bunch of hate emails.
23 comments:
you are posting satire from the onion like it is true. shame on you for misleading your readers.
Montoya, at least put a note warning readers that The Onion is a satirical website.
Chill our Anonymous Dude @ 2:20 pm
There is no paywall to rrunrrun.blogspotcom ; feel free to not read it.
Humor is what is going to allow us to survive this nightmare called the Trump administration. America will make a comeback on November 3, 2020 when we REMOVE The Turd on November 3rd.
Must have been a hillbilly gringito pendejito and coming from that racist station it must be true.
OMG! Shame on you. You are the one that is being racist here, JMON. You must have known this was untrue before you posted it. You are just following in the N.Y. Times' effort to discredit someone who thinks differently than we do in South Texas. You do wonderful work in digging up local truths for us. But this is out of bounds.
Local Democrats are going to believe this. Please tell them it's satire. They already have enough hate as it is. Your'e taking advantage of the ignorant sheep.
I don't put it past racist fox station and that idiota to have said whats on this story. Call it fake news just like you racist republicans are call the virus a fake
I saw a long line of cars at mcdonlds THEY WERE NOT PROTESTING THEY WERE BUYING bic macs pinche gueyes.
You see. I told you. July 21 at 8:20 PM believed the story. Somebody tell the poor soul that it's satire. Also explain to him what satire means.
The Republicans in generally are racist.
racist republicans at: July 21, 2020 at 2:20 PM, July 21, 2020 at 3:41 PM, July 21, 2020 at 5:38 PM, July 21, 2020 at 7:59 PM, July 21, 2020 at 10:02 PM
Live with it that's what all of you racist republicans are,
DON'T FAKE IT have the balls to admit it..
In general the readers of this blog are anti-Trump, anti-Republican and are unsophisticated in American media and culture. They will believe any bullshit thrown in front of them if it fits their prejudices.
K le de pal Valley..
Se esconde ..
Puro pico..nada de gallo.
Folks pay attention to what your read.
July 22, 2020 at 7:33 AM
"Unsophisticated? They will believe any bullshit thrown in front July 22"
Are you serious? I think this is a joke but some how it sickens the country when an idiot like you at 7:33 just refuses to see the light starring at your stupid face.
You lack of willingness to change your convictions in the face of evidence is robustly associated with racist republicans.
An aversion to altering your belief on the basis of evidence is more common among racist republicans and that this correlated “with beliefs about topics ranging from extrasensory perception, to respect for tradition, to abortion, to God.”
So you at 7:33 now know why you act stupid.
Really, there is only one institution to blame here for the following:
July 21, 2020 at 4:30 PM
July 21, 2020 at 4:46 PM
July 21, 2020 at 8:20 PM
July 21, 2020 at 11:35 PM
July 22, 2020 at 7:29 AM
July 22, 2020 at 7:37 AM
BISD for not educating these individuals in critical thinking skills. They don’t even see the hypocrisy of their own statements.
July 22, 2020 at 9:44 AM
Characterized by behavior that contradicts what one claims to believe or feel : characterized by hypocrisy said that it was hypocritical to demand respect from people without respecting them in return a hypocritical gesture of modesty and virtue— being a person who acts in contradiction to his ...
A racist republican is a racist republican moron I stand by my statement no contradictions here.
I guess all statments made here are unsophisticated in american media and culture EXCEPT YOURS!!!
"unsophisticated in American media and culture" MUST BE THE REAL FAKE NEWS THAT YOU ARE REFERRING TO AND BY YOUR IDOL MORON AT THE WH.
Another fake news? BISD? REALLY?
Must have gone to that cathlic private school that relies on donations from the poor.
NO WONDER!!!!
for the moron at: July 22, 2020 at 9:44 AM
No wonder he thinks his shit don't stink, he went to st joe that figures...
RGV cities cited again for health efforts
Once again, the Valley is being awarded for being healthy.
The cities of McAllen, Harlingen and Los Fresnos were all winners of the 2020 It’s Time Texas Community Challenge, Texas’ annual healthy living competition.
Ether they paid that organization 10k for the awards cause I don't believe it.
TEAR THE BIKE TRAILS DOWN THEY DON'T WORK THEY DON'T KEEP THE FAT OUT ah - IN?
I heard he lives in KKK country Harlingen, Texas.
The prevailing meme is Republicans-Are-Racists. Yes, we've heard it ad infinitum. But it wasDemocrats who
Opposed the civil Rights act, started the KKK, and Jim Crow laws, and fought abolition of slavery and fought a war to keep it.
Trump has went the extra mile for minorities but the conspiring, lyi f media sheild all of it from the public.
https://www.sebgorka.com/the-disturbing-history-of-racism-in-the-democratic-party/
July 26, 2020 at 1:29 AM
so why didi they changed the racist republicand, to the pendejos they are now?
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