Alabama: Guns may be legally wed after 16 years of ownership.
Alaska: Salmon convicted of felonies may not purchase a firearm.
Arizona: Guns must be securely buried in the desert at least 20 miles from home.
Arkansas: Mandatory background checks on anyone who doesn’t own a gun.
California: Law requires every gun owner to first pass an IMDB background check.
Colorado: Legal to grow up to 10 guns in your backyard.
Connecticut: High capacity magazines are banned for their garish tackiness.
Delaware: Arsenals may be anonymously stashed in LLCs.
Florida: Law requires all firearms to be stored securely above the refrigerator or in the car’s glove compartment.
Georgia: Residents are allowed to apply for a license within 24 hours after they have been challenged to a duel for their daughter’s honor.
Hawaii: Mark Zuckerberg’s (Facebook, Meta) security team has first pick of all guns.
Idaho: State sort of looks like a gun, and that’s the law.
Illinois: Requires Indiana residents to abide by 48-hour waiting period before smuggling guns into state.
Indiana: State gun shows enforce a strict ban on cutting in line to purchase a weapon.
Iowa: All guns must be won at state fair ring toss booth.
Kansas: Now why would a real American need to buy a gun when they should already have one?
Kentucky: All gun show buyers must undergo a 30-minute story from seller about time his brother-in-law used one of these babies to shoot a squirrel right out a tree.
Louisiana: Forty-eight-hour waiting period on media mentioning any shooting victims.
Maine: Old mariners required to bind their most beloved gun to ship’s mast to prevent it from washing overboard during great tempest.
Maryland: Maryland has some of the strongest gun laws in the country, making firearm trafficking very lucrative.
Massachsetts: Guns illegal unless a Kennedy needs to get rid of a problem, quick.
Michigan: Firearm purchases require proof of membership in a white supremacist group.
Minnesota: Guns only permitted during summer months when it’s nice enough to really enjoy them.
Mississippi: Everyone in this state is already dead from gunshot wounds.
Missouri: Mandatory self-inflicted wound while cleaning gun by age 21.
Montana: Anyone murdered by guns in national parks must be dragged out by shooter to preserve their pristine beauty.
Nebraska: Breastfeeding guns in public is legal, but the social stigma remains.
Nevada: Entire state legally considered gun range
New Hampshire: Shooting deaths are banned in fall so as to not obscure the view of the foliage.
New Jersey: Why do you want to know New Jersey’s gun laws so bad? Huh? Holy shit. Are you wearing a wire?
New York: Tourists are warned that firearms sold by street vendors are most likely fake.
New Mexico: Stand Your Ground law allows gun owners to legally defend themselves in attempted alien abductions.North Carolina: Domestic abusers required to count to 10 after a conviction before they’re allowed to have their gun back.
Ohio: Laws don’t apply in the abandoned factories.
Oklahoma: Most guns free if buyers can prove intent to hunt down pregnant women.
Oregon: The state has become a destination for terminal patients after legalizing physician-assisted gun deaths.
Pennsylvania: Guns are strictly limited to championship celebrations.
Rhode Island: No room for anything bigger than a pistol.
South Carolina: Gun show vendors must urge minors to not go and do anything foolish before selling them firearm.
South Dakota: Just grab whatever from the bin.
Tennessee: Citizens do not need a license to open carry as Tennessee is technically still fighting the Civil War.
Texas: The only law out in these parts is shoot first.
Utah: Gun owners allowed to defend selves in presence of dancing.
Vermont: Guns only available by special permit for tracking and apprehending foliage poachers.
Virginia: Must register all Muskets, Shot, and related Accouterments with the Court of King George.
Washington: Ghost guns must be installed with the latest software update.
West Virginia: Just try not to get too drunk before blasting shit.
Wisconsin: Guns in the home must be kept out of reach of children considered parents’ favorite.
Wyoming: Lenient gun laws presume you’ll just be shooting yourself.
9 comments:
LOL
They won't do anything without a gun and your back pinches traidores.
Bullshit. This is what is wrong with journalism today. More Bullshit. This is not satire and not funny at all.
Juan, que paso con Mayra. Why isn’t she attending forums? Acaso le tiene miedo al público? Para mi que a esta ya se le subió la fama. Ya traiciono al valle. Muy mal!
June 3, 2022 at 1:51 PM payaso
The minute she said she is a republican, SHE dumped el valle. racist republicans don't like meskins - payaso.
June 3, 2022 at 1:51 PM
Cotton season on, she pickin' (not packin') cotton.
Not funny!
She sents chat bios to the forums can't talk got heavy meskin accent.
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