BIZZARE FOOD HOST NAILED FOR PUBLIC INTOXICATION?

ANDREW ZIMMERN

(Ed.'s Note: We are still trying to confirm his true identity, but we have some reports that Bizarre Foods host Andrew Zimmern was popped in the Brownsville downtown district drunk on his ass following a feast consisting of cow head barbacoa, tripas (above), and various other bovine innard delicacies at Vera's BBQ and other Southmost grease traps. 

Police report that Zimmern and his entourage then made their way up to 14th Street where they partook of the local firewater at various congales starting at Javier Ruiz's 1,2,3 Lounge, El Mante, and points south and stopped by Charlie Orendain's cantina de mala muerte. Once there Zimmern was seen wandering into a back room with one of the cantineras saying over his shoulder, "If it looks good, eat it" before he emerged some 20 minutes later smacking his lips and turning his eyes upward.

It was after the 14th Street sojourn that Andrew – now known as Andresito El Tragón to the babes on the strip – made his way to the downtown area and was seen weaving down Adams and falling on his face across the street from the Kraken Bar. Previously he had made a pig of himself at the Jukebox, got thrown out, and was not permitted to enter Dodici's after a waiter spied him urinating on the sidewalk across the street near the beauty supply store at the corner of 12th and Adams. We wonder how he will rate the day-old pan dulce and black coffee served at the Jackson Street drunk tank.)