FAUCI, CO-CONSPIRATORS RESPONSIBLE FOR COVID-19 CRISIS?

The Onion

WASHINGTON—Placing an anonymous phone call to report a foul smell emitting from the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases director’s home, officials from the Trump administration reportedly planted 137,000 corpses in Anthony Fauci’s bed Monday to frame him for the country’s coronavirus deaths.

 “We finally got the guy responsible for coronavirus,” said White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany, who cited police reports that found information on the coronavirus dating back to January on Fauci’s laptop. 

“Police had good reason to believe Fauci is the perpetrator of Covid-19 after linking him to past pandemics. They found hundreds of video interviews where he relentlessly talked about coronavirus. He’d clearly developed some kind of obsession. You know, 130,000 dead bodies don’t just appear by accident.” 

At press time, authorities suspected that Fauci was working with an accomplice after the coronavirus death toll continued to increase despite his arrest.