AQUI ESTA TU GORDA! MERRY PINCHE X-MAS TO YOU, TOO!

DIARY OF A MAD CHICANA:

By El Nuevo Rinche de la 4-21

It had been a rough day for Juanita. 

It was her day off from her tedious home provider job but she had been grinding chores and errands since eight that morning. She had a sick kid at home and her live-in mother-in-law had been bugging her all day on the cell reminding her not to forget to pick up her Lithium at the drug store. 

It was only two in the afternoon but her unemployed husband was already en la Catorce, drunk at one of the dive bars. Cruising down the expressway, the December day had turned warm in Brownsville and her cheap polyester sweater was chaffing at her neck. Turning into the Mall parking lot all she could think of was her long Christmas list, the overdrawn bank account, and the maxed out credit cards.

As she cruised the packed parking lot, suddenly, there it was – the prized possession of the Holiday Season – the empty parking space right in front of the mall entrance! She deftly maneuvered her eight-year old Toyota to the spot and turned off the engine. She stood tall as she exited her vehicle, relishing this small victory of the day. 

It energized her enough to enter the Mall and wrestle through the throngs of last-minute shoppers.

The short burst of enthusiasm quickly waned as she went through her list of gifts for family and realized the scant cash she had saved all year in the old coffee pot was not going to be enough. It had been of rough year with her husband getting fired as a bus driver at Brownsville Independent School District for testing positive for coke. 

Her son was in constant need of medical attention because of his chronic asthma and the food stamps and Medicaid were not cutting it. Her mother-in-law moving in was the last straw and was in essence another child to feed and nurse. She had already been to the cash register once and embarrassingly had to return some items under the glare of the impatient shoppers waiting in line. 

 All Juanita wanted to do was pay for her items and leave the tumultuous environment that was the Mall during the holidays. 

 As she finally paid and placed her items in the shopping cart, a calm thought crossed her mind. Her car was right outside the entrance and she would soon be home enjoying a cool drink in front of the TV before having to cook dinner.

As she walked out her calm feeling quickly evaporated as she saw that some idiot had parked so close to the driver’s side of her car that she could barely open the door. The passenger’s side door of the old car could only be opened from within. 

Her frustration grew as 15 minutes turned into a half hour with no sign of the owners of the car. She attempted to talk to a security guard but was told they could not help. 

Finally, two young men in their 20s and what appeared to be their girlfriends show up. They were laughing and thought it was a big joke. Juanita maintained her composure and politely asked that they move their car. They said “No, we’re going back in, besides you can still slide in through your door." 

The other guy starts to laugh, “Nombre vato, la ruca esta bien gorda, verdad mamasita, estas bien gorda?”

Suddenly, the world stopped for Juanita. A deep sense of calm washed over her body and she felt at peace. The world had gone silent and she could not hear a sound other than faint singing from what sounded like a children’s choir. 

The young person’s mouth’s moved, but as the song goes, she couldn’t hear what they’re saying. She perceived everything around her with a profound clarity which filled her with an inner joy unexperienced in her drab, weary life. 

Her hands seemed to move on their own in a slow motion with clear purpose. Her left hand opened her large purse and her right hand drew out a 9mm handgun. 

 As she turns, smiling at the young adults, all she remembers is seeing several gentle puffs of smoke and the gun’s slide gently moving back and forth as the children’s choir became louder with the crescendo of Hallelujah! Hallelujah! as the last body of a young girl hits the ground. 

There is one last round in the weapon. The bullet pierces the roof of Juanita’s mouth and leave her body through the back of her head. Her shopping is complete. 

 All is calm, All is bright. Merry Christmas to all.